Rin Rin's Concoction
by Bureaucratic Bullet
Summary: Wataru Minakami, you're dateless blunder no more! He glydes through the gals with the greatest of ease, he don't need no wings or no stinkin' trapeez and then some. But who's he going to kiss? And what then? I wonder...
1. Good Days Start with Mergupzil!

Sister Princess

Rin Rin's Concoction!

"It can't be true…" he mumbled through gritted teeth.

"Brother Dearest!" Yotsuba called, knocking on Wataru's door, "it's time to get up!"

"Murgupzlll…"

"Mergupil is not a word, now hurry or Shirayuki will make your extra special breakfast extra-extra special if you know what I meeeean" she called as she started down the hall.

Wataru opened an eye. She sure knew how to hit a guy where it hurt. One morning it's Shirayuki's blue ribbon viper in marinara sauce the next it's Chikage's moonlight, moonshine rattlesnake venom cure all. With sisters like that who needs enemies? And what was up with the snakes?

Mindless morning thoughts…

Something was different today. Usually he was the model example of studying late and waking up on time. However in some strange logic it figured that the one night he went to bed EARLY he'd sleep in. He pulled himself out of bed and started his day.

About five minutes later Wataru stumbled into the dining room, which wasn't so full of girls as one would typically see in the morning. He sat down at the table smiling to the closest girl he could see. Hinako beamed back. He suddenly felt a cold hand on his forehead. He nearly jumped onto the table in an attempt to distance himself from it, but he stopped not a second to soon, realizing it was just Chikage.

"Two for flinching, brother darling," she said, flicking him on the cheek.

"Hey…" he warned, as she sat down next to him, over arching as usual, and resting her chin on the back of her wrists, having set her elbows on the table, and looking him over with those dark eyes.

"You didn't look well, I thought you might have a fever," she sighed.

"I'm not feeling well today, but next time just ask first."

She smiled. "Of course… Whatever you say…"

"It can't be true," he muttered to himself. His heart was racing, this was better than a Red Bull… and at the same time much worse.

"What can't be true Bro Bro?" Hinako asked, turning her head on it's side.

"He's just scared of Chikage," Mami jested from the other side of the table, knowing full and well what was coming.

Like a train that's right on time Chikage and Wataru chanted, synonymously, "That's not true!" It was glorious. They gave each other a little glance and suddenly found that an opposite wall was much more interesting.

"Big Brother?" Shirayuki said, having walked through the door with a plate of pancakes, "Sorry I couldn't go for the gusto with your breakfast today but everything in the kitchen seems to have something wrong with it today."

Wataru smiled. For once Shirayuki wouldn't be handing him a plate piled high with things he would have preferred to go his whole life without eating, let alone politely forcing down so Shirayuki would feel better. Actually a lot of the things she made were actually pretty good, it was the red letter days that made him nervous. "Don't worry, I'm sure this will be fine for today."

"Thank you very much. By the way Rin Rin wanted to see you about something, I think she stole most of the kitchen last night making something, so you better get ready."

"Thanks for the warning," he grunted, stuffing his face with the first forkful of pancakes. They were pretty darn good.

"I don't know how you can treat everybody so nice when you say such mean things about them behind their back," Mami scoffed, stuffing her own face with some honey curry.

"Hey," he said between mouthfuls, knowing not to take Mami too seriously, especially this early in the morning. "When you have as many sisters as I do they each have to take what they can get."

"You say that Brother Dearest, but there's no way you could mean it," Yotsuba said appearing at the door and sitting down next to Hinako, pulling out her magnifying glass and polishing it. "I've been watching you very closely and I don't think you know how much most of us really mean to you. Like yesterday when Kaho fell down the stairs and you almost fell after her, trying to make sure she was okay."

"Hey, that was a special case, Kaho might have been hurt," he started.

"Yes, but I noticed you were closer to crying than she was," she tried to finish.

"You forget she was holding my computer at the time, I thought it was broken…" he launched in there, finishing in a shaky voice. Yotsuba smiled back and shrugged.

"So mean…" Mami said, finishing her honey curry, also smiling from one end of her face to the other. They could see right through him, he had lost this battle.

"Where's everybody else," he asked, forcing another load of pancakes, that really deserved three trips to the plate and back, down.

"I don't know about everybody Bro Bro, but Marie, Kaho and Aria finished breakfast early so Haruka could show them her Naginta."

He swallowed and store at Hinako for a second. That could either be a very nice thing for them to do, or a very ominous.

"Don't worry brother darling," Chikage said getting up and walking over to him. "Should anything happen to you I would always be there to figure something out." She gave his shoulder a squeeze and slowly walked away.

Wataru, unsure how to interpret that, looked after her an whimpered, "T-thanks Chikage…"

"Yo, Bro!" Rin Rin said sticking her head in from one of the interior windows. He looked up. "I have something for you to see, will you meet me in my lab in five minutes?"

Have very little breakfast left (to use as an excuse) and no spine, he resigned himself to cruel fate and nodded.

"Great. See you then, and don't be late!"

With a slam the window was shut, leaving Wataru, Mami, Haruka and Yotsuba, still polishing her optic device, with a moment of silence. Slowly a sound could be heard, first outside, then out in the hall, then coming through the door. He first thought it was Migiel but it turned out to be Mamoru dragging Yamada.

"Hey Big Bro, good to see ya."

"Good to see you Mamoru. What's with Yamada?"

"I was running my daily round when he showed up 'by coincidence' and thought it might be nice if we could run together. I've always wanted someone to run with but two miles later he had had enough." Yamada was moaning incoherently, with two swirls over his eyes, and tongue lagging out. "Poor thing."

Yotsuba got a funny, almost angry, look on her face. She poured herself a big glass of water and walked over to the 'poor thing.' "Yamada, would you rather have a glass of water or a big hug?"

Yamada reached for the water and then, a in a flash, he had jumped up and was giving Yotsuba a big hug. "Oh Yotsuba I didn't know you cared! I've waited so long for someone to ask that and today you have made my dreams come true!" Mami was impressed and laughing, Mamoru was disappointed and Yotsuba suddenly had cold chills running up and down her back. She wasn't the violent sort, but one nod of her head to an irritated Mamoru and she was dragging him outside for another little fun run. "Wait, wait, I wasn't finished."

"Neither was I," Mamoru growled before they were out of earshot.

Wataru grabbed the water, washed the syrup down made a little bow to Yosuba for it (she blushed, making her look sort of pretty in an odd way, since she was still so pale from 'the hug') and made for the lab.

Mecha Rin Rin met him in the hall, smashing on of its… er… her fists into an open palm. He sheepishly smiled as it stood aside to let him pass. So Rin Rin wanted to be alone with him… Standing in front of the door he gave an obligatory glup before knocking. Maybe he'd get lucky and she wouldn't be ready. It'd be time for school soon and-

Rin Rin opened the door. Something looked different about her, but he couldn't tell what it was. She led him in. It smelled nice in her lab. He took a deep breath. It wasn't the room, it was her. She was wearing perfume. He liked it, but as shy as he was he'd die before saying anything.

She led him to a bench, where he sat down and looked at all the high-tech machines. He would love to just go on a tour of this place someday, without Rin Rin or any of his sisters trying to get in good with him because of it. He wasn't one for science, not research anyway, but this all looked so interesting.

"Do you like what you see?"

He grunted his approval with a big nod. He glanced at her and suddenly noticed what he had missed before. She was wearing make up. And she had that look in her eye. As the pieces fell together he jumped up and bounded for the door. At least he would have if he hadn't been glued to the bench. It a very strong adhesive layered on it, he could now note. He had almost jumped out of his pants, but that would have only made the situation much, much worse.

"Awww, Bro, what's wrong? Don't you want to help me with a little science project?"

"No! Rin Rin, how am I going to get out of here without taking off my pants?"

"Oh, don't worry, I have some adhesive resolve right in my desk, and I'll give it to you if you'll do me one little favor first."

"Like the DEVIL! What do you want some genetic sample? Is a leg enough? How about a hand?"

"Relax Bro, I just want you to drink something and tell me what you think."

He shot up like a bolt. There had to be a catch. "What something?"

"Well I'm trying to make a new drink for a contest in Tokyo next week, but I need a somebody who hasn't been drinking one flavor after another for hours on end."

"So that's why you stole all the kitchen supplies…" he whispered to himself. Mind racing, he said the first things that made sense. "I'll drink some if you drink it first."

Rin Rin glared at him. "Are you saying you don't trust me Bro?"

Wataru clenched his teeth and his fist. He didn't want to say it but Rin Rin wasn't exactly somebody you took for face value… ever.

"If you don't love me, I… I'm sure I can get Shirayuki to taste some," she said looking to a vat of glowing green liquid on a table, and tearing up, "but then she'd get the other half of the reward, and I was so sure you wanted some of that grant money back."

Reward? Something inside him clicked. Rin Rin was nice to him, but she was expensive. Luckily he was at no dire shortage for funds, but she always wanted a little more than her fair share. However if he went in on this maybe he could have a month off the 'generous donators' list. But some doubts remained.

"I'm sticking to my game plan, if you drink some first then I'll drink the rest okay?" Rin Rin turned from him, shaking her shoulders, looking quite sad. Then he heard it. A chuckle. By the time she turned around he was holding a glass of the green stuff and laughing like she found something funny. "Uh-oh," he thought.

"If you're not part of the problem you're part of the solution Bro, so open wide!" she sung, grabbing his nose, forcing his mouth open and pouring at least a quart down. "Lets go Cupid's Arrow Bevrage!"

When she let go his vision was swimming. It took him a second but it returned and there was something about Rin Rin. She was so beautiful, and she smelled so nice. He just had to have her for himself. She smiled as she saw her concoction at work. Just then they could hear Sakuya outside, trying to get past the robot and failing miserably. That voice was so beautiful, he had to have it. He stood up, pants coming off, boxers intact (don't go making this into anything it isn't) and started walking to the door.

"Wait, Bro!" Rin Rin shouted.

He looked at her, he needed her, and he needed her now.

"Hey! Dear Brother! Help Me!" Sakuya shouted.

He jerked his head toward the door. A damsel in distress? He would go to her rescue! He forced the door open and in a daring feat of strength and, what was really just grabbing a shoddy made, if gargantuan, first generation robot from the behind, something the designer never planned on, he threw it aside and grabbed Sakuya, one hand sliding behind her back, one caressing the side of her face and neck. In another moment he was leaning her back, she, startled and enjoying the change, wondered what was happening. His face was getting closer to hers; their lips were almost touching. Sakuya closed her eyes tight and pursed her lips. Suddenly he caught a glimpse of Karen out of the side of his eye. He wanted her, he needed her, she was so beautiful, she had just been gardening, he could tell, he loved the smell of dirt in the morning, he swung the cute but insignificant girl in his arms back up and made for Karin. But Sakuya wasn't Rin Rin. She grabbed him from behind and… well Mecha Rin Rin had recollected itself and for a couple of seconds you could hardly see through the cloud of dust and debris, but when it was all over Mecha Rin Rin was lying on Wataru, dog pile style, his face had a couple of red marks on it and the two bystanders were retaining Sakuya.

"Rin Rin this wouldn't happen to have anything to do with half the kitchen disappearing last night, would it?" Karen asked.

"Ummm…" she retorted, trying to spin this the right way, any way in fact. Not being able too she snapped her fingers, resulting in robot throwing lover boy back into the lab, and letting go of Sakuya she was close behind. "Don't worry he'll be back to normal before second period!" she was kind enough to inform them before slamming the door in their faces.

"It can't be true," Sakuya lamented, reviewing a broken nail and a botched attempt for true love. Mami appeared out of nowhere and helped Karen walk her back down the hall. "It just can't be true."


	2. What can I say? Wataru you Player!

Sister Pri 02

Marie didn't feel well… Marie didn't feel that bad, but she didn't feel well enough… It was going to be a roller coaster day.

She slowly made her way to the Nurse's Office, occasionally stopping for breath. She hated being sick all the time; far be it from me to exfoliate on the days she had spent in bed, counting the minutes, not even feeling like watching TV or sitting up. However at the same time she wasn't one for complaining, so she just grin and bore it.

In one last push she made it to the door. She wasn't usually this tired, not in the morning anyway, and the poor nurse usually couldn't do anything because she was… hopeless…

Trying not to cry she pushed the door open and nearly toppled over. The cot was taken by…

"Brother Mine!" she exhaled, that tired feeling lifting at once. He turned his head toward her and grunted an acknowledgement.

"What's wrong today Marie?" the nurse asked, getting up to offer her a hand.

She started to say how she suddenly felt better, but that would make her look stupid. "I just had a tired feeling, but…"

The old nurse smiled. "Your brother had a bad breakfast this morning. He should feel better in a little while, but why don't you two keep each other company for a little while? I have to… mail this letter."

"Okay Miss Echimangi, we'll be good."

As soon as she was out the door Marie was kneeling next to Brother Mine. "What happened?"

"Rin… Rin…" he muttered, rolling over on his side and stretching.

"I don't understand."

He coughed a little. "Rin Rin tried to give me one of her Midnight Delights, and it didn't go down to well. I feel funny…"

"What do you feel like?" She said, standing up, looking worried.

He sat up and patted the seat besides him. "Don't worry, I don't think she would have poisoned me on purpose, but… you know Rin Rin"

She sat down. "But you said you feel funny…"

"I do, but it's not that bad, it's not like I'm in pain it's just… well…" He started to blush.

"What…?"

He looked at her and felt a shock go through his body.

"Marie," he said with a different tone, an oddball tone. She blinked. "Marie, how long have you been wearing glasses?"

"I… uh…" She didn't like it went people talked about her glasses.

"Because I think they magnify your eyes a little. Not I'm one for eyes but yours are so pretty. Tell me you'll never wear contacts."

Had Marie's eyes looked big before that was no comparison to how big they must have appeared now. Nobody ever said anything nice about her glasses. And this was Wataru. But it wasn't. He had a different way of talking, sort of conceited, but… "Well… I was…"

"Marie," he said grabbing her hands and looking straight into her eyes. One would typically say deep, but her gaze was so distant you couldn't see very far. It was almost like she was living this over. "Where are you going for dinner tonight?"

She pulled in and out of focus. Everything was going dim. And suddenly everything went dark. Wataru caught her before she fell far, and as quickly as she had fainted his bout with the player within was over.

"Marie!" he shouted. She stirred and breathed again. He put her in his place, covered her with a blanket, and staggered out the door, back to class.

Much later lunch had come again, and while he could use a little break, there was no rest for the wicked. The first to catch him just as he walked out the door was Karen, who just wanted to see if he was feeling better. He nodded, as he felt that odd bubbling in his gut, and was about to say something to the extent of 'I love your hair, we should share grooming secrets sometime, how does tomorrow under the kissing rock sound?' but Yamada was also concerned. Ha. That is to say that very quickly Wataru and him were halfway down the hall conversing about his latest plot. He waived goodbye to Karen and suddenly returned to normal.

"Wataru, will you at least pretend to care!"

"What? Sorry, I was preoccupied, what do you need?"

"I think Yotsuba has a crush on me but I'm to shy to ask her myself."

"Uh-oh. I don't like this conversation."

"But what are good buddies for?" he sung. "Besides she's your little sister, she won't think anything's going on if you play your cards right… right? Right?"

Slowly but surly Yamada had dragged him outside, and hiding behind the mass of columns they could see Yotsuba a small distance away, studying a leaf with her magnifying glass. (She wasn't typically allowed to bring her camera to school.)

"Oh, there she is, now remember just ask her if she has the hots for anyone and come right back. I'll be waiting!" And so saying he gave a mighty push and Wataru was on his way.

This was so embarrassing, he didn't want to ask his sister a bunch of personal questions. But he was spared! Sakuya and Hinako were headed his way too. He couldn't possibly ask in front of them. Suddenly he felt a little electrical shock.

"Dear Brother, I think you owe me an apology. Leading me on this morning and letting Rin Rin carry you off…" She would have continued, but Wataru was smiling at her, so she trailed off.

Wataru kept smiling. "Sakuya there's no I in Cream of Us. What does that mean to you?"

Had all eyes not been on him one might have imagined their heads would still be spinning on their necks, but things as they were, not only were they not believing their ears, Sakuya, Yotsuba, Hinako, **and** Yamada, but none of them knew quite how to take that.

Knowing this he smirked and looked at Hina. "What's wrong little one, you look confused."

"What did you just say, Bro Bro?"

"I said how would you lovely ladies all like to go out for some Vanilla Cream Pie after lunch?'

"Oh…" they all chorused. Yamada snorted, so loud, in fact, that Wataru recalled his 'sacred' mission.

"So Yotsuba are you seeing anyone?" Now we all know this was a legitimate question in this scenario, however from a girl's stand point it's one of the worst way of being asked out on a date. Unless the girl already likes you in which case it's not so bad. Then again, unless the girl is your sister, in which case you better be quite a spin doctor or the villagers are going to start lighting those torches and a noon bonfire is going to be the end of you, if you know what I mean. But this was Japan, and I don't know if they're just a bunch of freaks or none, and I mean NONE of them have brothers and/or sisters to put up with, but apparently they don't seem to think its wrong. However, since the Playboy Wataru wasn't one to be walked all over he quietly added, "The Yamadas of the world would like to know," and winked at her.

"OOOhhh!" she cawed. Looking around she spied him behind the pillar and made off in the opposite direction.

The three smiled at each other. "Bro-Bro are you really going to take us out after lunch?"

"Well, there's hardly time, how about we go after school on the way home, and…" this was the real Wataru coming back, "since I invited you I guess we have to invite the rest of them."

Sakuya looked a little disappointed, but Hina was beaming. He waived farewell and walked back to Yamada.

"What did she say?" he desperately asked, his eyes glowing with anticipation.

"She said, 'OOOhhh,' and ran off."

"Um… What does that mean?"

"I think it means I need to lye down, I don't feel good."

"That's what you get for eating pancakes without sharing."

"WHAT! Good night, Yamada, there was hardly time. What with you hugging people and Mamoru dragging other people outside I didn't get the chance."

"My ears are burning Big Bro."

He felt that familiar shock as he flung around. Mamoru was jogging in place, and (interestingly enough) Yamada was nowhere to be seen. 'At last,' his other self shouted in his minds forum, as he clutched his fist and bowed his head, 'alone with a girl!'

"What's wrong?" she asked, stopping.

"Mamoru…" he said thinking fast, "What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?"

She looked bewildered. "I'm at school."

"tisk, tisk, tisk. And I had such high hopes for you…"

He thought that she'd go wide-eyed too, but unlike the others her brow furrowed and she started laughing. "What's that suppose to mean Big Bro?"

"Oh nothing. Tell me do you like deserts?"

"Huh?"

"It's just that all the sisters are going to get some after school, I was wondering if you wanted to come along."

"Of course!"

"Yes I'm glad to hear that. Its not that I don't like any of the other girls, but there's something special about a girl who can do more push ups than most of the guys I know."

He took a step forward and she took a step back. "What do you mean?"

He smiled. If you push to had you'll break the door, and that's just bad. "I mean, look at you. I would kill for those abs, nothing personal, of course."

"Oh…"

"So tell me when do you usually get up to run in the morning again?" Her eyes lit up. At last something he predicted. "I'm not making any promises, but if I should ever happen to get up early some morning and feel like burning some lard I might as well."

"I get up at five thirty, please come running with me Big Bro…"

"What an odd thing to say…"

She giggled. "I have to get back to my routine, but think about it. Bye-bye."

Wataru gave her a thumbs-up and started chuckling to himself. He could smell something very close. It was Haruka's perfume. He turned around with the biggest, whitest smile a guy like him could have and said in a deep, bachelor (cheap colone) voice, "Hello there."

Haruka came out from behind one of the pillars. "Hello Beloved Brother."

"Now, now, were all friends here… You can just call me 'Good-lookin'."

"You haven't been acting like yourself! What happened to you? Did it have anything to do with half the kitchen disappearing last night?"

Wataru suddenly came to his senses. This was all Rin Rin's doing. Sure it was fun when he was in the fray but he didn't want to hurt anybody's feelings. He didn't want to lead anybody on. Good night, he didn't want to get up a five thirty in the morning! He cleared his throat. "Sorry Haruka, I haven't been feeling well."

"Well… Okay, when we get home I'll make you a nice cup of tea, but… Beloved Brother, don't do anything we'll all regret, and… may I come along for the desert after school?

His pupils suddenly shrunk. "Yeah, sure, what's a party if Haruka isn't there?" he said with all the gumption of a deflated balloon.

She blushed. "You are such a charmer."

She quickly disappeared. So everybody was going to the candy store with _their_ hands in _his_ pocket. "It can't be true," he moaned into his hands.

"You're not complaining are you?"

He looked up. It was Rin Rin. Just the person he wanted to see.


	3. How to get what you want with the Ladies

Sister Pri 03

Rin Rin was looking at him from besides one of the pillars. Behind her Kaho was cheering with the squad. Wataru was about to tell her how angry he was, and reasonably demand that she change him back, but when he opened his mouth something else came out.

"Evil has a new name and it's Rin Rin…" he said dragging those last two syllables out for all they were worth.

She blushed. Holding her hands up to her face to try and hide it, and swinging from side to side, "Oh Bro, you're so mean!" she lamented.

He snapped too. "Rin Rin, I keep saying all these weird things, what was in that drink this morning?"

"I told you then it was Cupid's Arrow, Beverage extraordinaire."

"No you didn't."

"Well I added that last part when I saw it working just now. Bro you party animal you."

Wataru gritted his teeth as the very acids of his stomach curdled over. "Party animal? Rin Rin what makes you think that I want to be a party animal? And not just that, what makes you think I'm alright with you doing it against my will?"

"Gosh Bro, don't get angry, it'll wear off in a couple of days… I think…"

"Rin Rin!" he moaned in mortal anguish. He didn't want to get mad, but this was a special case. However, he had been biding his time too much, and the Playboy within was rarin to go.

"Okay, I'll see what I can do, but if you just let this thing run it's course, then I'm sure you'll find if very educational."

She was trying to make a joke, at least he thought she was, but this was no time to laugh. "Education? What do you mean?"

She looked at him quizzically. "Just that…"

"Because you know… Rin Rin, was it?" he said taking a step closer to her, she didn't step back. "I don't think a good girl like you should be walking around talking about an 'education' when bad boys like me are walking around."

Rin Rin smiled. "Bro, are you messing with me?"

He smiled back, and took a step closer, their faces were almost touching. "Would I do that? I'm just saying that," he started playing with a lock of here hair, "if you really wanted to get crazy, I know a little fellow by the name of Yamada who…"

"What!"

He stopped playing with her hair, "What?"

"Come on Bro, you think that me and Yamada…?"

He smiled that cheep cologne again and nodded.

"Yeah right."

"Well I guess he doesn't know how to play chess, but still…"

"You ARE messing with me aren't you?"

"Hey, at least I'm not gluing your skirt to a bench and pouring crazy juice down your throat."

"Oh, I only did that once…"

"Yeah, this morning."

Rin Rin started shaking her head. "Of course, it's not you it's the Concoction. Darn, for half a second there…"

"For half a second there what?"

"Nothing, look there's the bell I have to get to class."

"Okay, Rin Rin." He dragged himself back to class.

It was a slow day, but every time he looked at the clock it seemed to double it's pace. How was he going to afford an ice cream party on his budget? He could always cut corners on his textbook consumption. Oh, who was he kidding, if he didn't get that new Epistemology resource book he just die! What to do…

Before he knew it the class was over. He shrunk in his chair and contemplated running for the door, but Mami came up.

"Bud, are you feeling alright?"

He gave her a glum look and got up, brushing himself off.

"Big Brother, may I please come to the ice cream store?" Karen asked.

He sighed. "Yes, everyone's invited."

Mami smiled and pointed at her face. He nodded. Suddenly Yamada slung his arm around him.

"Zat a fact? You're such a good friend Wa-Ta-Ru."

"Yamada! I didn't even know you were listening!"

"Does that mean… does that mean I'm not invited?" he asked, his voice cracking, and eyes watering, all inches from Wataru's face.

Not knowing what to do, something in his gut flared up. "Sure, buddy… You can come… You just have to carry my case…"

"No problem!" he said cheering up. In half a second he had taken his hand back and was holding the two cases with one hand.

"And her case," he said, pointing to Karen. "And her case," to Mami.

A large sweat mark grew behind his head. "Ummm… No problem, it's no problem really, but… Am I going to have to carry all the briefcases?"

"Unless you'd rather buy the ice cream…"

"Holy! Look at the time, I forgot about the all night Garbon line up starting this evening. If I'm not there I'll miss it, my VCR's broken, I'd bet."

"Don't you want to see Yotsuba?"

The sweat mark grew larger. He did, but thirteen objects, not counting his own, at ten pounds apiece… he'd never make it, and better to look like a Garbon freak than a wimp.

"Maybe I'll stop by after I've fired up the good old camcorder, but better safe than sorry, right Wataru?"

"Right," he said, the bubbling in his gut subsiding.

Yamada made his exit and left Karen and Mami staring wide-eyed and jaws dropped at Wataru. "Well done Bud!"

"You don't want me to carry the briefcases do you?" Karen asked sounding anxious. "Big Brother?"

"Of course not," he said.

"He was just getting rid of a free loader. But remember bud, I never asked. You invited me."

Like a waves of the sea it bubbled up again, man these things were uneven in distribution! "I'll try hard to make sure it's never any other way. Mami…"

She laughed. Not being an actual sister, or devotee, which seem to be the same thing in this series, she just laughed. It was a nice thing to say, but this was Wataru. The one time nobody made lunch he went hungry till dinner. The one time they were in a play he only spoke five words. The day she was charmed off her feet by this clown fish would fly and birds would swim.

"You know you really should get that laugh fixed, it wasn't that funny really."

She stopped laughing immediately. How long had she been at it?

Karin was looking at her with a subsidiary smile.

"Oh dear, now I've gone and embarrassed you. I guess I can't do anything right when my heart's all a flutter."

The two girls looked on. Mami pointed at herself again, brows furrowed.

"Karin, you know how hard it is for me, why don't you go standing the hall whilst I try to insult Mami here."

"What!" they shouted.

"Or you could just kiss me…"

"What!" they shouted again.

Now he laughed. "Just kidding, you can kiss me when we get home, but right now," he said grabbing their hands, "We're off!"

It was an odd sensation when Wataru came back too. He was holding two cute girls hands (even if they were his sisters) and they were just smiling back. He always thought the opposite gender would be more likely to scream in terror, give him a 'good one' upside the head, and run like the Dickens' for the proverbial horizon but maybe he was wrong. However he soon had these crazy thoughts reaffirmed when Sakuya saw him coming down the stairs outside.

"Dear Brother!"

Instinctively he let go and turned the Cream of Us candidate. "Ahhh, I see you're all ready for ice cream."

"Don't change the subject, you were holding their hands."

"Now, now, Sakuya," Karin said, getting between the two.

"Karin…" Sakuya said, pushing her aside, "this is big person time, you can participate in this conversation when you're this tall." She held her hand an inch above her head.

"I'm that tall," Mami said.

"Oh, the I'm sorry, I meant _this_ tall," she said raising it an inch above Mami's basic height.

Mami wrapped her arm around Wataru in a defensive maneuver and said, "Well Bud here just said people over this height," raising her hand to an inch below Sakuya's height, "can't come for ice cream."

"That's right," he said through a tuft of Mami's hair, the playboy in him having returned when his arm was grabbed. She gave it a squeeze and the feeling upsurged.

"What? Big Brother!"

"We'll you're being so difficult Sakuya. I don't think Karin would be angry with me for holding your hand. Maybe angry with you… well, knowing me, probably angry with you, but not with me."

Sakuya looked heart broken. "Then I can't come?"

The four stood in quiet.

"I… I understand… I'll just…" Big tears were welling up in her eyes.

"Are you going to be any more trouble?" he asked.

She took a large handkerchief and bit it, shaking her head. Wow she looked cute.

"How high did I say you had to be, Mami?"

She put her hand up again. He looked at her, and she looked at him. She raised it again, to just Sakuya's height. He looked at it disdainfully.

"You know, I just realized something. I'm not tall enough to go! See ya, Suckers!" he said, pulling loosed, marching down the steps and waiving backwards at them.

"What! Wait! Hold on there!" were the cries.

He laughed and ran for the ice cream shop, they all followed, trying to catch up. Most of the sisters were already there when they arrived, and for a second it looked like it was going to erupt into one great big game of pile on Wataru, but someone was missing… Aria.

He shrugged the girls off, it was the normality him again, shrugging them off without any genius ideas was hard, but not impossible, and asked, "Hey, has anybody seen Aria or Rin Rin?"

"I saw Aria walking home a minute ago," Hina said.

"Did anybody invite her?"

They all looked at each other.

"What about Rin Rin?"

"Rin Rin said she'd be back as soon as she got something from the lab. Brother dearest…" Chikage whispered. "You're not in trouble are you?"

"No… Why?'

"You look pale. And you've been acting funny."

Wataru looked on. "What do you mean? I haven't seen you since breakfast have I?"

She held up a crystal ball. "Future, Present, Past. A vision seen at last."

"Okay… well look, you all go in and decide what you want but don't get anything. I'm going to go get her."

"I'll come with you," Mamoru said.

"No, I can do this on my own, I'll be right back."

They all waived goodbye, and entered the store.

Inside they started looking over the dozen's of flavors when Rin Rin entered and shouted "Hey!" They all looked up. "There's something important I need to tell you." Quietly Mecha Rin Rin slid in behind her.


	4. Make a scene at the Ice Cream! store

Sister Pri 04

"Aria!" Wataru called, running down the tree-lined avenue.

"Mon Frere!" she called back, standing up and holding out her arms.

He stopped in front of her, panting like the dog he was (or at least the dog the other him was) and asked, "Aria, what were you doing just now?"

"I was looking… at the flowers…" she said, pointing to a cluster of pansies growing in the roots of a tree.

"Well they're all getting treats on the fourth block, we better hurry or there won't be any ice cream left."

"Ice… cream…?"

"Yeah," he said, holding out his hand. She slowly took it and they started walking back to town. "Aria haven't you ever had ice cream before?"

"I think so…"

"It wasn't exactly a trick question…" he said. It was an odd feeling. Touching a girl and not turning into a different person, that was. Apparently Aria was too young… or perhaps it was too French. Lucky for him she didn't have to worry about body hair sprouting up in strange places, not that she was one for sleeveless tee-shirts, or immodest clothing in general, but… Wait a minute! He didn't have these kinds of thoughts about Aria! Aria? His heartbeat went down, the rat had shown up after all. It wasn't that bad around Sakuya, she seemed to like it, and Mami was a scum bucket in the first place, but how was he suppose to play this off around the rest of the girls.

"Mon Frere… your hand is warm… When we get home will you… play with me?"

Aria had taken some getting used to, but by now he sort of liked her slower way of talking. "Sure, what game Aria?"

"Po… ker?"

"Poke her? You like being poked?"

"No silly… Po-ker…"

"Po-ker? Poker! Aria, you want to play poker?"

"Five to one odds… Mon Frere…"

He laughed. Aria was crazy. "Okay, but I'm not betting anything."

"Awww…"

They walked on, to the ice cream shop. The girls were waiting inside.

"Oh…! Ice Cream!" she squealed.

"Go on and pick your favorite, I'm buying."

"Horay," she said disappearing inside.

Soon he was blinking in the artificial dimness. The inside of the boutique was very medieval Europe motif, unshaven wood crisscrossed over white plaster, a few stands of ivy hung from the ceiling, and the girls sat in comfy booths near the bright windows, each with a bowl of various dessert.

"A… Who paid for all those?" he asked the man behind the counter.

A short, thick man replied, "They were just so, so cute man. I couldn't resist; okay?"

Wataru shrugged. At least it wasn't a tall thin man the looked like his old butler. He went with some safe chocolate, was _allowed_ to pay for his own, and sat down in one of the last booths with an empty seat. Interesting enough it contained just the person he wanted to talk to, Rin Rin. Unfortunately it also, somehow, contained her giant metal flunky, that apparently hadn't forgotten how he had tossed her a good on this morning. He sat down next to the final occupant, Yotsuba, while trying to stare the robot down. It didn't work.

"Look I said I was sorry, okay?"

"Bro, are you still talking to Mecha Rin Rin?"

"She's mad at me, look at her!" he said pointing.

They looked. They saw. They saw nothing.

"Bro are you feeling alright?"

"That's what Chikage asked," Yotsuba commented, "but he said he was fine. Are you sure that stuff will wear off?"

"Of course I am," Rin Rin said giggling, "Why wouldn't it? It's not like I gave him some DNA altering material so that he'd fall in love with me or something."

Mecha Rin Rin started nodding furiously.

"Don't look at her, she doesn't know the difference between ATP and ACT."

She (he/it) kept nodding.

"What is the difference?" inquired Yotsuba.

"One's a test, ones a molecular solvent that mitochondria need to produce energy."

"Oh… And how is Brother Dearest this afternoon?"

The playboy within had been making googly eyes at Haruka a few seats over, who in turn was blushing like crazy, amidst Sakuya and Mami's angry words. Jealous, they were just jealous. And given the situation, just maybe they were, however amidst these mundane midday thoughts duty called, and it was closer (and cuter) than ever. "Fine and dandy, how's the brandy?

"Brandy?" she asked.

"Yes, it isn't my usual cup of tea, to weak you know, but it gets the job done when you don't have anything to cry about."

"Anything to cry about?" she reiterated, bewildered. "Brother Dearest, are you feeling all right?"

Wataru and Rin Rin snorted.

"Well… sorry, it's just that you're not making any sense."

"I have a sixth sense about these sort of things," Chikage said, having appeared just behind Wataru's shoulder. "He felt a little warm this morning."

"I already explained it, Bro's feeling strange because I gave him a bad dose of hexadrocilrhyboneucleoicoxens. He should be over it in a day or two, we just need to be a little more gentle around him."

Chikage put her fingertips on the side of his face and brought them down to the chin, saying, "I'm always careful around Brother Darling. Going to finish that?"

Yotsuba covered her bowl. "It's chocolate, go get some yourself."

"You think I can't see a rum malt a mile away?" When Yotsuba blushed she added, "I saw you blink at the salesman," with a little grin.

"If you want some then grab a spoonful, but don't go telling everybody that I'm a rummy."

Chikage wiped a finger around the edge of the bowl and licked the flavor away. "I wouldn't dream of it." She casually drifted off to another table.

"Rum Malt!" Rin Rin hissed through a fit of giggles.

Yotsuba's face grew redder.

"I wouldn't worry about it," Wataru said, nonchalantly, "a little liquor makes you quicker you know."

"It's not liquor, they just pour rum in it to give it a little flavor."

"That's not what I heard," Rin Rin giggled further.

"If it's true it's a pity. A little bit of the hot stuff never hurt anybody. But don't go thinking I won't be disappointed if I find a bunch of empty bottles under you bed."

"Bro, you tell her!" she added, still fit to be tied.

"You don't mind, Brother Dearest?"

"Of course not. A Rum Malt? P-shaw! Like that bozo's going to give you anything you can't handle."

"Hey!" came a call across the floor.

"Good ears, that one," Yotsuba noted.

Rin Rin had stopped laughing. "I guess that's right…"

She blushed a little less. "Bother Dearest, if you would like some you may use my spoon."

"Your spoon? Yotsuba are you coming on to me?" he asked with a laugh.

Her cheeks flushed red again. That was exactly what she had been doing.

"Bro, you're acting weird. Are you still getting it in waves?"

"Waves?" he asked. Suddenly he was one hundred percent Wataru again. "Then you knew about it the whole time?"

"Well… yeah, Bro. I wouldn't have given it to you if I didn't know what it was going to do."

"No fun at all."

"What?"

"Well it's just that the Rin Rin I know would gladly pour any substance down my throat, if it meant a quick buck."

"I would not!"

"You would too."

"What? Are you crazy?" she asked, her face turning red. She would never do something like that, and he would never accuse her of it. He was acting strange. Suddenly it clicked, how could she keep forgetting? "What am I saying, of course you are. You're crazy."

"Will you to take a good look at each other?" Yotsuba said quietly.

They blinked, and looked around. Wataru laughed again, and more; Rin Rin put her face in her hands, blushing again.

"Oh no, it's the potion that's saying that."

"It's the potion that's finding the words, I'm saying it," he said quieting down. He cleared out his throat. He felt tired; entertaining people was exhausting. "Are you two done?"

"No."

"Not yet, Bro, remember you're crazy not blind."

He shrugged. "You two can finish this off if you want, I'm heading back."

"Heading back?" Yotsuba asked.

He nodded, he got up and almost walked out the door, before Yamada flattened him for trying. That is to say they reached the door at the same time, but Wataru was slowly taking his time, and Yamada was running like the devil was chasing him down with a chainsaw. If he wasn't careful then one of these days… Before the dust could settle the girls almost tore them apart trying to figure out what happened, and if Bother Dearest was alright, or if Elder Brother would like some of Shirayuki's shake to feel better. They quickly threw Yamada clear and put Brother, oh brother, on the ground. Yamada, who had quickly debated trying to play the helpless injured 'poor dear' or man it out saw Mami's not so happy, and definitely not smiling, face and went with the latter.

"Don't worry ladies," he said in baritone, "I'll be fine, just give me some air to breath."

They were to busy with Wataru to properly ignore him, but Yotsuba made a good attempt at accidentally stepping on his toes in the ruckus, but was forced to dodge out of the way when he had the same idea, except, of course he wanted a hug (and who knows what else).

Sensing that his bravery in the face of minor harm to his general person was going unnoticed he shunted a couple of the girls a side to get to Wataru. "Excuse me, Marie, pardon Moi, Aria, move it you hosier."

"Just who are you calling hosier, chump."

"Would you prefer red headed bimbo?"

"Don't make me use this," Mami said holding up a fist.

"If you want a box, I could always lend you one of my old ones, it would give you somewhere to sleep in that mess you call a room."

"What did you say?"

"I said, -OW!"

Sakuya had come in from the left and caught his cheek in her grip of death.

"Brother dearest needs air, and you-aren't-giving-it-to-him!"

"Wait, I'm -OW- here to help. Let me just -Aaaa- Darn it Sakuya!"

"Can it, you can come back during visiting hours or…"

Wataru groaned. He was coming out of it. 'It' being a sister daze, all of them at once was too much for any guy.

"Dear Brother!" she shouted running to his side.

Yamada plowed back over to his other side, and started shaking him.

"Wataru, you Rapscallion, stop worrying your sisters, get up. You're a boy aren't you?'

He opened an eye. The evil genius was back, and as far as it could tell Yamada was trying to make him look like a wussy.

"Yamada," he moaned, "I haven't seen you in… forever…"

"Dear Brother, are you alright?"

"Sakuya!" he groaned, "Sakuya, is that you? I can't see… everything's going dark…"

The room got very noisy with the sounds of different girls calling their favorite brother by his different pet names.

"Listen," he sighed, "before… before I…"

"Oh, you've got to be joking," Yamada snorted, "I knocked the door down with my head and you don't seem me -erk."

One might have thought that Sakuya grabbed him again, or Mami had poked him with a fork, but instead it was the 'dying' Wataru who had grabbed his collar (and carefully disguised a grasp on his neck) making him go erk.

"Yamada…" he exhaled, giving him a good shudder. "Before I pass on, I want you… to… to…" He took great care to make ever syllable writhe with imagined pain, especially those last two. He slowly pointed with his free hand to his untouched ice cream.

"Your dessert?"

Wataru, or 'the rat' Wataru, started shaking Yamada as he spoke, so that his tongue inadvertently lashed out. "I haven't touched it! Don't let it go to waste. This is… my last… request… Don't let it go to WASTE! It… it is your destiny… Yamada!"

"Glaaa! Okay, I'll eat it for you; just let go!"

Wataru got this big, stupid, fake smile on his lips. "Don't let it go to waste…!"

Yamada slunk over to it and started eating, very half-heartedly.

"Dear Brother don't worry you'll be fine!"

"I don't know what could have happened to Big Bro. If Yamada isn't dying…"

"Maybe it had something to do with that Hyper-dy-roxi thingy Rin Rin was talking about," Hina asked, clearly concerned.

"I doubt it, nothing in that potion should have made him weaker."

"Brother Mine… where does it hurt?"

Wataru composed himself enough to point at his head.

"He must have hurt his head when the door landed on it," Mami speculated, throwing an evil glance to Yamada.

"Hey, like I said," he retorted through a mouthful of ice cream, "My head broke the door, his head broke the fall, who should be hurting more?"

His logic was still no good to them. Haruka pushed forward. "Beloved Brother is there anything I can do?"

He wheezed out some sounds, but nobody could hear. So she got closer. He whimpered something even lower. She knelt down and put her face next to his, so that her ear was very near to his mouth. He quickly shifted his head and gave her a little peck on the cheek. She gave a short shriek and jumped back up, holding her face as it glowed red.

He cricked his neck, to look cool, no doubt, and got up.

Sakuya grabbed his face, much like Yamada's. "That wasn't nice, scaring all of us like that."

"Sakuya," he said first in that whiny voice most people get when they have their face contorted. Then he continued with his cheap cologne smile and his cheap cologne voice, looking deep into her eyes, "Promise me you'll never let go."

She looked on for a second; taking in what he just said, then consequentially let go to join Haruka in hiding her face in her hands as it turned red.

He stood up, looking around with that bachelor smile. "Well ladies; _that_, as they say, is how you do _that_."

He made for the door but before he could put his first foot down he had two hands, Sakuya's and Haruka's, pinching his cheeks open.

"We'll I've heard of a pinch, but this is ridiculous," he mouthed though what parts of his mouth would still open.


	5. Hamburger!

Sister Pri 05

Wataru was in his room. Or so his little sister's thought. He was late for dinner. That wasn't like him… At the same time it wasn't spectacularly peculiar, and as strange as his recent actions had been they just let it be. However Sakuya, ever the sly one, took this opportunity to powder her nose. Had any of them given the phrase an ounce of thought they would have put together that she meant she was going to powder her nose… in Wataru's room.

Casually walking out of the dinning room was easier than she thought it might be, and soon she could hear the light sounds of snoring coming from the hall. He had left his door open. Not possible. Well, not for Wataru. And yet, with a gentle push the dark room opened up.

"Dear Brother?"

The snoring stopped with a large breath taken through the nose.

"Sakuya?" he yawned.

"Are you all right?" she asked, entering and turning on the light. He sat up.

"I'm fine, I just needed a nap. Is dinner ready?"

"Yes, the other's were wondering where you were. But I knew you were right here Dear Brother."

"Fantastic. Shall we be going?"

"Fantastic? Is that all? I knew where you were and all you can say is-"

"Wait!" he said, a charge pulsing through. "I know what you're going to say, and I'd like to say I agree with you one-hundred percent. Now let's get some eats."

"What? … No you didn't, you weren't even listening!"

"Fine, fine, here," he muttered opening his laptop and starting a word processor. "You write your message here…" he typed, 'Important message for Wataru,' "and I'll get to it as soon as I can."

Sakuya gave him a homicidal look, just as Kaho walked in.

"Brother?"

"Kaho?" he asked.

"We're all waiting for you in the dinning room…"

"Hold on a second," Sakuya said. "Kaho we'll be there in a moment, but right now Dear Brother and I-"

"D… Did you just excuse another person I was talking to before we were through talking?"

"I was trying to-"

He grabbed her hand and gently slapped it.

"You're bad, Sakuya."

Her face went red, and she backed away, whispering, "You're bad…"

He closed his laptop, flicked off the light and dragged Sakuya out into the hall. "We'll continue this conversation some other time, right now I see a cutie with a dinner plan."

Several moments later they were seated around the table munching and smacking away at the tender morsels Shirayuki had prepared. Roast duck with chicken nuggets. Karen had said a side dish with BBQ buffalo wings might have been a little much.

"What about BQB buffalo wings? Or BBZ buffalo wings?" he asked.

"BBZ?" Mami exclaimed. "What are you some sort of a rapper?"

He was suddenly graver than the grave. Er… Dead serious, shall we say.

"What did you call me?"

"Huh? I didn't mean anything I ju-"

Then, all at once, he was looking up and stoking his chin like he was actually considering it.

"Now that you mention it… I could…"

"Wha?"

Now he was concerned. "Mami, what's wrong with you today?" he asked. "I keep getting all these mixed signals."

"What? _You're_ the one that's mixing the signals, Bud!"

"Me!" he countered. His indignity knew no bounds, or so it sounded. "I'll have you know I've never mixed a signal in my life!"

"Well then don't mix this signal!" she growled, picking up a chicken leg and throwing it at him. It hit him square on the nose and bounced off. The room gasped. Even Mami looked at little surprised at her own good/bad luck/aim/temperament.

He wiped the grease off his nose and smiled. "No harm done…" he whispered. The room sighed, just before he picked up a clean fork. In an eerie silence he poked the butter and lifted the whole stick up. The saucer it was on lifted an inch with it then dropped back to the table. Every eye was on him at twice, no! Three times their normal size! "Nothing personal… of course."

Mami, who was smiling in horror, wondered momentarily whether he would actual do it just as they heard a creek above them. Looking up they saw Yamada's nose on a windowsill, and his eyes just above them.

They all looked on in wonder as he got up and said, apparently the first thing that came to his mind.

"Wataru, 'ol buddy, if you need some mud for a wrestling match I can get some for you real quick…"

As gently as he could, Wataru put down the butter; the fork still sticking ominously out of it at a haphazard angle, stood up, and ran for the door.

Yamada, who had caught on a second too late, ran for the stairs at the same time. They met in the entrance hall Yamada above, Wataru below.

"Come down now and I'll let your next of kin bury what's left of you."

"Wataru, buddy, you know I was just kidding right?"

"Yamada there are two things I hate in this world. You! And your twin brother!"

"But I don't have a twin brother…" he said in that shaky voice people get just before the axe falls.

A look of confusion spread across Wataru's face. Yamada considered that opening his fool mouth might not have been the best of moves as the look turned to the purest rage. (That is to say the purest Wataru could manage since he wasn't really even angry in the slightest. Just a bit odd feeling.)

"What! Then… Yaaarrr!" he shouted running up the stairs. Yamada, in the smartest move he had made all day, ran the other way around. After a little game of run around the rosies, Yamada hurled down the stairs and out the door with Wataru on his tail. "And don't come back unless the sun's up and the moon's in the third quarter!"

Figuratively patting himself on the back, he walked back to his seat as his sister's looked on and sat back down. He returned their stairs and noticed that something was missing. After a second he placed it. The butter! And the fork; let's not forget that. After looking at it's absent place and reviewing the cuties sitting around the table again the lot of them smiled in a 'disaster averted' kind of way.

"Where were we?" he asked. Then, turning to Mami, "Oh, yes, you were just apologizing."

"What!"

"Not for hitting me on the nose with a chicken leg, I think everybody here would like to do that, you just got the nerve first, but calling people rappers when they're trying to eat…" he trailed off, shaking his head.

"Elder Brother?"

He looked up.

"You weren't going to hurt Yamada were you?" Shirayuki asked.

His mind started digging through its files. What was it's that made Shirayuki tick? And what would make her more… for lack of a better word, amorous? Food was her specialty, but he couldn't just bring it up. But maybe if he…

"Why do you ask, babycakes?"

"Huh?" she blushed. But maybe she didn't hear him right… "It's just that you seemed so angry a minute ago."

"Eh, you should have seen me back in Jing-te-pe," he shrugged.

"You don't even know what Jing-te-pe is," Chikage mused.

"Sure I do. They told me all about it at my most recent meeting of Ragoholic Anonymous Group Ensemble. Er… Isn't it where people get together to lock horn's after they've been in accidents?"

"Wow, Bro, that stuff's really getting to you. Have you been drinking any fluids?"

"We don't keep any in the house."

"Yep, he's wasted."

"What do you mean, Rin Rin," Karen asked.

"Well the hexadrocilrhyboneucleoicoxens have been paring off and siphoning his innate ability to reason and predict. It's sort of the way the cure works, he should be fine in the morning."

"Fine, normal, or fine, playboy?" Marie asked.

"I… don't know…" She leaned forward in her chair and started scratching the back of her head.

"Is there anything you haven't told us yet, Rin Rin?" Yotsuba asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

She stopped scratching.

"Of course not. Well… nothing that hasn't come to mind when we've talked… That is, it isn't like there's a slight possibility that the cure I used the morning actually made it so he'd fall in love with the first person he kissed as opposed to, say the first person who he saw, which was me, and so you might say this is all really Sakuya's fault in the first place."

"What? I didn't give him a rampant batch of hexadrocilmeyer-thingies this morning."

Before Rin Rin could respond Yotsuba, who had listened a tad more carefully than the others, paraphrased it for them. "Then Brother Dearest will fall in love with the first girl he kisses?"

"What!" shouted all the girls unanimously.

Yotty was folding her arms and looking down in that angry way she did when she was trying to think hard, however this time it might have been to deflect the glance of deepest loathing Rin Rin sent her way before even attempting some damage control.

"Well if I had had ten extra minutes before Sakuya-"

"If you had ten extra minutes before I came in then you and Dear Brother would be all lovey-dovey right now and none of us would be able to figure out why!"

"Brother Mine. Did you hear that!" Marie shouted in her already overdrawn voice, anxious at his non-pulsed attitude.

"Hamburger!" he shouted back, looking around thoughtlessly.

"What?" she asked back.

"Hamburger?" Mamoru thought out loud.

"We don't speak freak, Bud."

"Mon Frere… Aria will… Kiss you…"

"No, no Aria," Kaho said. "They don't mean love like a brother and sister… do they?"

"Definitely not!" Rin Rin growled.

"Then things are going to get ugly around Brother Dearest."

"Karen have I ever told you about the time my Rageahol got so out of control I killed a bear and ate him there?"

She smiled as a large sweat drop formed on her forehead. "Ate him, er… where?"

"There. Care. Karen. Do you know your name sounds like Care, Karen?"

"Ummm…"

"Don't worry he's just thinking out loud, just don't ask him any serious questions."

Before anybody could ask Rin Rin why, Sakuya shouted, "What do you think of Sakuya, Dear Brother?"

As a response he started singing, "Sakuya… Sakuya…" to the tune of silver bells. He started humming the rest as his balance gave way and he wobbled in his chair.

"Quick-!" Rin Rin shouted. She had meant to say, 'quick, catch him,' but he had already let his face drop to his plate.

"I have chicken for an eye," he moaned into the roasted foul, beginning to cry lightly.

"Somebody should put Bro Bro to sleep."

"Hina's right, and it hadn't better be Sakuya."

"Oh, be quiet Chikage," Sakuya snapped.

"It might be best if all of us do it… and lock him in his room for the night at that," Yotsuba casually noted. "Or a group of us at least… Does anybody know how to set a mean burglar alarm for ground level windows?"

"Oh, please, like I'm going to break in Dear Brother's own room."

"Well if you don't, she will," Mamoru said. "The only reason Yotsuba wouldn't set up the burglar alarm herself is so that she couldn't be blamed when it didn't work."

"What! I-"

"Don't deny it."

Yotsuba smirked. "_You_ are smarter than you look."

Mamoru's mouth dropped open. "We'll you're-"

"_Don't start_," Chikage said with such force the two stopped. "We'll do this like big girls should. We'll all take him to his room then each of us, in pairs, will stay up and watch him for two hours at a time. Unless, of course, we can all trust each other not to try anything."

They all looked each other over. The silence was deafening

"I call first shift," Mami said, raising her hand.

"Me too," Kaho said, raising hers.

The room grew loud with cries of, 'me next,' and, 'me too.'

Karen and Chikage were the last to raise their hands.


	6. On the ball with a Master

Sister Pri 06

"Rumblkneskin…" Wataru murmured in his light sleep.

The night was almost over, and he'd be waking up soon. Chikage and Karen had the final shift. As a job perk of some sort Aria and Hinako were sleeping nearby with their heads on their laps. Apparently they had dozed off some time into their shifts and not Sakuya or Yotsuba were daring enough to make their move. That or they had fallen asleep too. Either way Chikage and Karen weren't tired, and even though they didn't talk much the time passed quickly for such a boring shift.

"It's morning…" Karen whispered, as she saw the first light out the window.

"That's good," Chikage whispered back. She was leaning against the wall the window was in, so she couldn't just see it off hand, especially with Hinako in her lap. "Are you a morning person, Karen?"

"Sort of."

"I am. The morning is a good time for… things…"

They sat in silence another little while, before Wataru snorted out, "Rumplestiltskin!" and the girls stirred. But they didn't wake up. When they were sure they were still asleep Karen started again.

"Who do you think is going to kiss Wataru?"

Chikage's stare glazed over for a second. Then she came back. "The future is clouded. I can't see…"

"Are you going to kiss him, Chigake?"

"No."

"…"

"It's better that way. Kissing him would be like forcing his hand, and Brother Darling wouldn't want that. I don't think he would."

"…I-"

"I wouldn't kiss him, but I'd let him kiss me…"

"…I feel the same way…" Karen whispered, just as Wataru rolled off the bed.

"What happened," he said in a rush from the floor, trying to figure out first why he was on the floor, second, why were there girls in his room while he slept, and a basic tax overhaul and reform was a distant third. Man that was a crazy dream.

"Big Brother, you're awake!"

"Ohhhhhh!" he said, standing up and rubbing his back, "I feel weird… odd… bad… and just a little amorous. So, three chicks and a chickita, what are you all doing in here?"

"Just making sure everything was all right, Big Brother."

"Brother Darling, you were having a nightmare."

"Any time without you, baby. I mean the next time feel free to jump in and give me a big squeeze, that ought a' help."

"Of course, Brother Darling," she said with a hint of cynicism.

"You're still a little disoriented, aren't you?" Karen asked.

"Disoriented? Me? I've never been more 'on the ball' in my life, sweetlips. Now what time is it? When's breakfast?"

"Sweetlips?" Hinako asked, pushing herself up and wiping the sleep out of an eye.

"Oh, the sunshine's here early this morning. How are you Hinako?"

He got a yawn for a response.

"Glad to hear it. Aria? Are you awake?"

"Mon Frere…" she hummed. In answer to his question she wasn't.

"Oh well, let her sleep, but you're coming with me," he said gently picking Aria up and laying he on the carpet as he grabbed Karen's hand.

"Where are we going?"

"Out to the kissing rock, where else?"

She blushed.

"Just kidding, were going to watch the sunrise. You too Chikage."

Hinako had composed herself just enough to stumble over to 'Bro Bro's' bed and lye down.

"That should be fun…" she said, getting up and walking over to them. He slung his arm around her as they walked outside. It was a glorious morning. So glorious, in fact, they ignored the pry marks on the outside of Wataru's window (which Mami had wisely wedged shut with one of Kaho's batons) or the two sections of rope ladder that still hung from Yotsuba's window. They didn't speak much, just a few random, 'how pretty' and 'wow's until they could hear some of the other's waking up.

"KAREN!" Haruka shouted.

"CHIKAGE!" Sakuya shouted.

"They probably think one of us is making out," Wataru sneered.

"But which one?" Chikage said, hiding a smile.

"Well… knowing me… heh, heh, heh…"

"And what is that suppose to mean?"

"Big Brother!"

"Oh, come on, it's not like Marie is that ugly."

"A-!" they both said, their jaws dropped.

"Man, you two are easy."

Chikage balled her fist as a vein on her forehead stared pulsing, and Karen gave him a little shove.

"Lets go, we don't want them finding the magazines under my bed now do we?"

"What magazines, _Brother Darling_," Chigake said, with more sarcasm than he preferred.

"Why, Big Bad Wolf Magazine, my dear. All the better to woo you with…"

"Woo?" Karen asked.

He made a woo sound as he blew in her ear.

Her spine went ridged, and her features froze after making a little smile.

"How 'bout you Chikage?"

"I'm all right for right-"

He put his mouth near her ear and did his thing.

"-now…"

"I'm glad we got that settled. Oh look it's Haruka. Allo… HA!"

"Where were you?"

"We were just watching the sunset."

"What happened?"

He looked back to see Karen and Chikage frozen in place. "They'll be fine once breakfast is up. Where's Shirayuki?"

"I zhink she's still asleep, but we'll have to see."

"Haruka, have you lost weight?"

"huh?"

"No, you didn't need to lose weight, but you're looking a little different today? Spiffy even?"

"Spiffy?"

He briefly thought about making a spiffy noise in her ear, but he doubted it'd have the same affect. Just thinking about it made him smile in an inside joke way, which made her look on in even more confusion.

"It's nothing, probably. Nice boots by the way," he tacked on as he walked past.

"DEAR BROTHER!" Sakuya shouted from stairs just as he came in.

"Got tired of all the yelling and MOVED OUT!" he shouted back.

"Har-har, don't be so mean. Where were you?"

"Shooting some fish in a barrel. You're not a fish are you, Sakuya?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I was just thinking…" he said, walking to her side on the stairs, "that if I wanted a challenge you'd be… ready and willing, too… non conform, right?"

"No…?"

"See, you're doing it just there. That's what I like about you Sakuya. That and the fact you can still pinch my cheek into oblivion in spite of the whole 'my name is Sakuya and I weight twenty pounds less than girls half my height' thing."

"You… do?"

"Sure, in face I like it so much I'm going to give something back. Here."

He grabbed her hand, held it palm up, and spat in it.

"It's a swimming pool…" When she looked up not knowing up from down at this point he gave her upturned and moistened hand a few pats (to which I say, yucky-guck) and made for the kitchen to wash his own, now moistened, hand.

"HEY!" she shouted when he started laughing, maniacally, halfway there.

In the kitchen Shiriyuki was halfway through a yawn as he walked in.

"Good morning, honey bunches of oats."

"Morning," she said through her inhaling experience.

"I was talking to the cereal," he said picking up a box.

"Oh…"

"Good morning, my little flower."

"G-" she began, but she saw he was looking at the flower on the window sill as he cleaned of his hand. "Oh…"

"Good morning, beautiful."

"What are you talking to now?"

"We'll if you prefer Shirayuki to beautiful…"

"Oh… Well, good morning at last, Mr. Joker."

"Ho ho… What's for breakfast?"

"I don't know yet, half the kitchen is still missing."

"I think I know where it is. I'll go get it for you."

"Be careful," she yawned. "If you're going to Rin Rin's room, be careful, Elder Brother."

"Careful is my middle name."

He strolled out the door and up the stairs just as Sakuya was coming back down.

"That wasn't very nice," she said, still drying her hand.

"Nice is a point of view, Sakuya…"

"Don't give me that," she said, smiling through her teeth, "I want an-"

On the spur of the moment he took a step up and putting his face almost on hers, blew in her ear. Like the other she froze too, her eyes going wide, her breath quickening.

"Works every time, I guess," he noted to himself as walked on. He knocked on Rin Rin's door and cleared his throat extra loud. "We know you have half the kitchen in there, and we have you surrounded! Give up, Rin Rin!)

Rin Rin opened the door, wearing a low cut/high cut Chinese style dress and more make-up than he had seen anyone wear yet. Well, maybe the clowns at the circus, but not really. And yet, somehow, she had pulled it off. They didn't call her a genius freak (behind her back) for nothing.

"Don't you want to examine the evidence?"

"Oh, trust me, I'll 'examine away' all I can, _after_ breakfast. Now kindly return the kitchen to it's rightful place and we won't have any trouble."

"Kitchen?" she asked, walking up to, and leaning on him. "What's a kitchen?"

"Playing dumb, huh?"

"You're bad."

"If were going to start playing good cop, bad cop, you're going to have to get a badge and a number…" he said pushing her away. "Oh, and Rin Rin?" he continued, pulling her toward him again and leaning her back, like he was going to move in with the lips. "Don't think I wouldn't, but… not on an empty stomach…"

And he dropped her.

"Owww!" she said, rubbing her back.

He stepped over her and marched into the lab.

"A blender. You shouldn't have! And there's the can opener, not in my wildest dreams, a can opener! Speaking of tin cans…"

Mecha Rin Rin had self-activated.

"Over here Mrs. Roboto, you're going to help me lug this down to the kitchen, or else."

It raised a fist.

He raised his own.

It took a step forward.

He took a step forward.

I pulled back for the deathblow.

He took a step forward and blew in its ears. Or where it's ear should have been at least.

Its eye's popped open which had never happened before and it shook a little, then made the sound of a light bulb blowing and deactived.

"I should really patent that," he said to himself a little over confident.

Rin Rin, who had gotten back up, ran over to him and blew in his ear. He felt a shiver run up and down his spine and almost froze, but seeing it done from the outside so many times he broke the spell before the damage was done and shouted in an 'Okay-you-won-but-next-time-it-won't-be-so-easy!' voice, "Don't Dooo That!"

Rin Rin giggled as she grabbed the Can opener and ran outside, hopefully down to the kitchen. He grabbed some of the other labor saving appliances and carried them down after her.

In the kitchen there was a sleepy Aria, a sleepy Shirayuki, and an ornery Mami.

"Well I grabbed what I could, but if the can open isn't here yet then we might just have to buy a new one…" And it wasn't.

"That's all right, just but what you have over-" she yawned again.

"Shirayuki are you tired?" She nodded. "Well we can't have that. Here," he said walking over to her, "put your right hand on my shoulder, and-" he grabbed her left with his right.

She suddenly seemed a lot more awake.

"Why?"

"We're going to dance. You know how to waltz right?"

"No!" she said, toying with the notion of pulling loose and getting started on some eggs or something.

"No better time to learn you mean," he said, taking a step round the corner.

"Yeah, but I-" she said hesitating.

"Shall we dance," he sang, pulling her round with him as he started down one span of the kitchen, "shall we dance on a bright cloud of cloud of music shall we fly!"

"Bud's lost it," Mami said to Aria as she looked on in piqued amusement. He didn't know how to dance, but there he was. Crazy…

"Mon Frere…"

"…Or perchance, when the last little star has left the sky…"

A crowd began to gather at the door, first Marie, then Mamoru, and then the rest of them looking on in wonder.

"…On the clear understanding that this kind of thing can happen!"

The third time round the room he ended by twirling her away as she landed with a thud, short of breath and awake, against the fridge, with a full chorus of, "Shall we dance, shall we dance, shall we dance!"

He then looked to Aria and Mami. Aria pointed at herself and Mami pointed at her too, as she began to piece together to her _horror_ that she was next. He shook his head at the proposition he go with Aria, grabbed Mami's pointing hand and with a hand round her waist, nearly threw her into those first couple of steps as they started.

"Okay think 'bright cloud of music' now," he said, as they started their first clumsy round and he started to sing. The second time round went much smoother and the third was almost like they were an item. But it wasn't until he, for some reason, stopped singing and dancing at, 'and shall you be my new romance?' that the other girlfriend potentates stormed the room for their chance.

"Brother Mine, may I be next."

"I want to dance Bro Bro!"

"Aria was… next… Mon Frere…"

"Hey Bro, where'd you learn to dance, let me try!"

"Big Brother, you can dance!"

"Brother, when can I try!"

"Oh Brother," he growled. Their kitchen wasn't large enough for all of them and any thoughts of dancing flew out the window and onto the lawn, which, by no small coincidence, was where they carried him by force for a dancing party. Round and round they went until they heard a familiar bell that meant they were late for school. In all the hustle no one noticed Mami still standing in the middle of the kitchen with a cold morning stare on her face. She felt odd.


	7. There's a little big jerk in all of us

Sister Pri 07

In one word it was excitement. That's what it was. The easiest way to put it. The girls were excited. Wataru had gone crazy. One might have thought they'd want him back to normal, but this was too good to be true. He didn't know how to dance… or he had never told anyone, and hid the fact like his life depended on it. And yet Kaho, the last he had danced with, was dead set on getting another chance to glide around the grass with Brother.

Another good word was chemistry. They had a good thing going here. Zippity-doo-da, and all that Disney slop. Sakuya kept looking at her hand through class and wondering whether washing it was really such a good idea. Not unnecessarily because she was a freak or something, but it was a really good heist for Wataru, and he might never pull a stunt like that again and nobody would ever believe her when she told them about it. Shirayuki kept humming, 'shall we dance,' through first period. Mami kept getting angry every time she thought about the good breakfast she had missed out on since bud had to dance like an idiot high on love and coke, and kept blushing when she couldn't stay mad long.

Crazy might be another one word answer, but I think I've had enough of those for one fanfic start. Maybe I've even had too much, but you don't want to hear me go on about that, back to the story!

Just as the school got out for lunch a few of the girls met by coincidence in the hall.

"Mamoru," Yotsuba said suspiciously, "you're awfully chipper this morning."

"Oh, shut up, I'm not talking to you after last night."

"Give me a break, you did spoil my plan."

"Smarter than I look? Honestly…" and she started to walk away.

"Shirayuki!" Yotty called out as she passed, making Mamoru almost involuntarily turn around. "How did you get Brother Dearest to dance with you this morning?"

"I didn't, he got me dancing. I was yawning and he… I don't remember what happened exactly, but the next thing I knew he had grabbed my hand and…" she made a twirly movement with her wrist. "He was just in a good mood I guess."

"Well, I'll have to try yawning next time, maybe he'll try something a little more unorthodox…"

"Yeah, like yawning back," said a new voice.

"So… the genius inventor once again rears her ugly head… that's a lot of make up Rin Rin."

"Like you'd know Yotsuba."

"Actually I think that is a bit much for school," Shirayuki said, pulling out a handkerchief and rolling it in her hand, "don't you?"

"No, not while Bro's in his swing. A little out of the box never hurts when it's carefully done."

Mamoru's mouth fell open as something clicked. "Where's Sakuya, I'm going to borrow some of her make-up."

"Me too," Yotty chimed in.

"Girls, girls, please," Wataru said, as he came out from behind a corner.

"AAAAAA!" they chorused, realizing he had heard any or all of their conversation.

"Make-up isn't going to help you that much, especially when used in the copious amounts Madame Rin rin here has… elected to use."

"You know you want it."

"That's a dangerous phrase madam! For all _I_ know you mean I want to 'get' it, and 'get it' in the sense of somebody taking a two by four to the back of my head. In such a scenario I most certainly do not want to get it, though I might enjoy giving it."

"Whatever, just give me some right now," Rin Rin said, pointing to her cheek.

"You didn't hear a word he said, did you?" Yotsuba asked.

"Yotsuba did you ever get that thing cleared up with Yamada?"

"Thing… you mean his-"

"Asking me, to ask you, if I liked you, and all that."

"No, why?"

"Because he just fed me a teary sob story about how all he wanted was to be closer to you, and I gave him the ol' do what you want but the next time I catch you on my property after dark, one two, if you know what I mean."

"And?"

"And he sort of has a thing for you I guess. You player you."

"What!"

Mamoru and Rin Rin, burst out laughing, and even Shirayuki let out a squeak or two.

"I could always tell him we're an item."

The laughing stopped.

Unnerved by the silence he added a quick, "…or something."

"Don't do that, Big Bro."

"Elder Brother, what would happen if you did? You wouldn't kiss her would you?"

"Huh?" he asked.

"I think I'd be a splendid thing to do."

"You're so non sequitur, Bro"

"And you're so articulate, Dictionary. I mean Rin Rin."

She growled and attempted to punch him in the shoulder.

"Play nice, little Rin," he said, side stepping the swipe. "Don't you know what happens to bad little girls?"

She growled louder and shook her fist at him.

"What does happen to bad little girls?" Shirayuki asked.

He held up a finger to ward the other girls off, and stepped very close to Shirayuki, giving her a once over with the eyes.

He sniffed.

"I don't think you have to worry about it," he whispered in her ear, "but if you ever have a bad dream or whatnot, I'm always right down the hall, for… whatever… usually playing cars with a couple of friends because I can't sleep. And you know my friends," he said backing up, and speaking louder, she was already looking at him googly eyed, the damage was done, "they're light, and fun to have around. One comes in a holster, the other a hip flask. Grape juice just doesn't taste right if it's in anything else."

"Holster my foot," Rin Rin said, trying to hide her jealous fit. Curse that Shirayuki and her good girl routine.

"I'm a bad girl," Yotsuba volunteered.

"In your dreams," Wataru snorted, as he started walking for the doors.

"You're mean!" she called after him.

"And you forgot my name!" he called back.

"Wait Big Bro!" Mamoru called, running after him.

"You're not going to tell me you're a bad girl, are you?" he asked, not stopping or slowing, just talking as he made his way outside.

"No, but I'm not a goody two shoes, or anything like that…"

He gave her a once over and snorted.

Her mouth fell open again. "Big Jerk."

"What?"

"You heard me."

He stopped walking and looked at her, a little interested now.

"Did _you _just call _me_ a big jerk?"

"And I'll do it again."

"Well, you certainly aren't a coward, I can see it in you eyes. You're going to grow up to be law, aren't you."

"What's it to you?"

"Good cop, bad cop, everybody wants to play, but nobody's got the game down pact."

"Good cop, bad cop? You? More like good cop, bad little boy."

He snorted as he started walking again.

"Big Jerk."

He stopped again.

"Stop saying that."

"Why are you so nice to Shirayuki?'

"Nice? Did you see her? She's probably scared out of her mind by now. In fact…"

Just then the two of them saw her wander past in a dreamy daze, mumbling something about good little girls, not even aware of who she was passing.

"Scared out of her mind?"

"Mamoru, you're on thin ice for a girl of your weight."

Her mouth opened, then, just as fast, it closed.

"You just want to end this because you know I'm entirely correct when I say-"

"Don't-"

"Big-"

"Say-"

"Jerk!"

"Ugh…"

"Come on, Big Bro. You're not always like this. Rin Rin's concoction couldn't have been that conscious consuming."

He began to feel like himself again. "Mamoru, who do you like better?"

"Big Bro?"

"Me, or the other me?"

"I like you, Big Bro, whoever you are."

"Well you're no help."

"Shape up," she said giving him a hug. "You'll be fine. I know you will."

"Thanks, but…"

"Yeah?"

He put his arm on the wall and got a new, expensive cologne, voice going, as he put his face almost on hers. She would have backed up, but there was a row of lockers.

"You're still no help you know…"

"Yeah…"

"But I think…"

He was getting closer

"yeah…"

"Mamoru," he said, moving in.

"Big… Jerk!" she shouted, shoving him away and running off, stifling a giggle.

His teeth clamped shut as he watched her turn a corner.

"Not going to say anything?" he growled through said clamped shut teeth.

"What's to say?" Chikage asked.

She had been watching from an enclave, and now that Mamoru was gone he could smell just a hint of lavender in the air. It was a spirit smell. Don't ask why. Haruka had more of a rose scent, and Sakuya wore whatever was in fashion, usually an abstract scent that was a very good smell, but you wouldn't find it anywhere out in nature, and nine times out of ten you couldn't find it anywhere other than those TV infomercials 'for less than fifty-nine ninety-nine.' He had that kind of cash… before he met Rin Rin.

"You can't think of anything?"

"That was a close one?" she asked, asking if that was a good thing to say, not asking if that was _actually _a close one, because we all know full well that was a darn close one.

…for lunchtime, at home. Had they been in Venice under a full moon it would have been plain prudish of them not to make out a little bit before parting ways.

"First one was better."

"I know."

He walked over, taking a deep breath.

"Lovely as ever, Chikage…"

"Blow in my ear again and you're going to 'get it'."

"But you were asking for it," he said, making a 'follow' motion with his hand as he started once more towards the doors. "I can read body language."

"So can I and-"

"Then you already know that when you're walking away from a sunset, or sunrise, or whatever, with a person you like, 'no' means 'yes,' 'go brush your teeth' means 'no tongue,' and 'not right now' means 'quick while I'm in the mood'."

"Quick while I'm in the mood?" she asked, her eyes open pretty wide for Chikage.

"Quick, while I'm in the mood," he said, very matter-of-fact like.

"Well what is my body language saying now, Mr. Genius?" she asked, giving him a little bump with her hips as the strolled out the doors

"It's saying 'I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me.' An odd thing to say, unless you were meaning to quote 'bohemian rhapsody'."

"I'm so glad you're here to point that out Brother Dearest. Before hand I would have thought I was just bumping into you… Then again, if I really over analyzed, maybe I would have interpreted some loose flirting but were so non-compatible."

"Non-comp-! Cut it with the geek chatter and tell me how smart I am again."

She smiled, and punched him in the shoulder. She hit like a girl, but it was the thought that counted.

"As long as we're talking geek chatter I might bring up that I'll speak my foreign language of geek while you speak yours of super geek, because we all know that there's no way you could be half the things you say you are, and no way you could do half the things you say you do, especially and… particularly while you're living where you are and going to school full time."

"Look who's talking, Miss Creature of the night."

"Creature of the night? Oh, you're talking about me being in the sunlight, right? You'd think I'd be dead by now, wouldn't you? Melted or something?"

"Well, a little before now to be honest, but since you haven't I guess there's just no hope for the hopeless."

"Hopeless… that's a good word for you."

"Long-skirt-wearing. That's a good word for you."

"I don't think it's _'a' _word."

"Take it anyway, it's true."

"You think my personal style is a bad thing?"

"Chikage with you-"

"Big Brother!" Karen shouted, running up behind them.

"What?"

"It's Mamoru, she won't come out of the bathroom, we thought you could…"

But she trailed off when she saw both Wataru and Chikage slowly shaking their heads.

"Oh no… you didn't… kiss her did you?"

He folded his arms behind his head and turned around, it looked defiant, making Karen gasp, but Chikage was there to clear it up.

"Not this time, Karen…"

"Can't you come and help, Chikage?"

"I can, but…"

"Then let's go, and you don't kiss anyone, understand?"

Wataru turn around and glared at her. She took a few deep breaths, then dragged Chikage off.

"Storms blowin' in," the old Fisherman said behind him.

He turned around and saw a faceful of old man.

"Aaa!" he shouted, backing up and falling down.

"Having girl troubles, young whippersnapper?"

"Nothing I can't handle old timer. And you?"

"Can't beat the ladies off with a stick. That's about usual. Not while I'm on the job of course."

"Of course."

"Now if I can just give you one bit of advice, it's-"

"Hey Fisherman!" Yamada shouted the other edge of the school grounds. "Somebody's towing your boat."

"WHAT!" he shouted. Leaping upon a pile of back to school posters he had just taken down, and seeing Yamada wasn't trying to make a fool out of him, he made off for the dock at warp seven.

Wataru watched him trail off and muttered, "So much for that," as he picked himself up off the ground.

"So much for what?"

"Mami? Aren't you suppose to be sympathizing with Mamoru right now, with… you know, the rest of them?"

"Yeah well… Sympathizing isn't really my thing…"

"And they sent you here to make sure I don't kiss anyone or anything, right?" he asked, almost growling.

"You got it."

"Well you can go tell them I've sworn women off."

She snorted.

"No, really! Girls are too girly for me. I'm going to clone myself now."

"Is that so?" she asked, smiling from ear to ear, not even trying to hide the sarcasm.

"Yeah, that's so. And then I'll clone myself again, or if it hurts I'll clone the clone, and there'll be a million of us. No! I got it! I'll clone myself, but I'll make the clone a girl."

"AAArrrggghhh!"

"What is it?"

"You're disgusting, I don't even want to think about that!" she shouted half laughing, half grimacing.

"But I'm a man, I don't think; I just see what I want and… get right to it, as they say."

"I bet you do."

"That's right, and if you made a male clone of yourself he'd agree."

"I bet he would."

"Mami, what do you look like with your hair down?"

"Who wants to know, bud?"

"I do"

"Well it's none of your business."

"You're right, wearing your hair down is too much of a hassle."

"I didn't say that!"

"You know, you would have to wash it occasionally if you did that, and that's asking a bit much, right?"

"I wash my hair every day!"

"P-shaw! Who-Ha! Let me smell!"

"No!"

"I knew it."

"I don't care what you know, I-"

"_I_ bet you don't."

"I don't."

"_I_ bet you don't."

"I don't!"

"_I_ bet you-erk"

She got him in a sissy headlock.

"Now say it with me! I don't care what you think."

He sniffed. "Well, at least you washed your arm recently."

"I said: I don't-"

"Maybe it was just a one time thing though."

Sensing the pointlessness of it all she let him go.

"Darn it! You're so-"

He quickly slid his hand round her neck to pull her head forward and a shiver went down her spine.

He started to smell, but was rudely interrupted by Yotty who he saw just behind her.

"I just deduced you like putting your face next to other people's faces for some odd reason."

"Just barely…?" he asked, a little put out, releasing Mami. Her hair did smell nice though. Curses, and he was going to play it out more.


	8. Really Good

Sister Pri 08

Mami shoved Wataru a safe distance away.

"Well, I guess your whole, 'I wash my hair, if only occasionally,' thing was gospel truth after all."

"Every day isn't occasionally, Bud."

"Brother Dearest certainly likes sniffing things since he woke up this morning."

"It can't be true," he muttered.

"What can't?" Mami asked.

"Wait… huh, I guess she's right," he said, rhetorically. Then he said in a light, crisp, determined voice, "I, Wataru Minakami, vow to never again sniff, as long as the sky is green."

"Green?" Yotsuba asked.

"Yes, Green!"

"The sky isn't green," Mami said through a confused sounding growl.

"Well then, maybe I can- just this once," and he started sniffing Yotsuba, first around her head, then her hair, before she giggled and shied away.

"Beloved Brother?" Haruka wondered, coming out from behind a pillar.

He wandered over to her instead of following Yotty, and stared sniffing her. Almost at once she went red, before Mami grabbed his nose in an anger-ly fashion.

"If you sniff out one more-"

But before she could finish he had grabbed her hand, twisted it around, and started mumbling.

"Chikage don't fail me now… If the moon is in the third quarter and Venus is… That line; it calls to me…"

Before she processed what he was doing all her hair was on end. She would have yanked her hand back and slapped him upside the head for his audacity, but believe it or not she didn't want the prickly feeling to dissipate. In another second Yotty and Haruka were standing on either side, the former gazing through a magnifying glass, trying to see what he saw in Mami's hand.

Truth be told they saw it. Nothing. Well, nothing other than Mami's hand. However if you mumble the right way you can make people think that instead of stalling for time or trying to just change the sway of the conversation you're reading their hand, and reading something very interesting, which everybody secretly wishes, that they lived an interesting life or that something interesting was going to happen.

His actual training came from a time Chikage grabbed his hand and started mumbling. He found it very… stimulating, though he didn't say so at the time, and though the Wataru we all know and love would never have imagined a feeling as special as that could be summoned wherever people mistake cunning for sincerity, the scum sucking playboy that cheap cologne (and every second he was becoming more expensive cologne) Wataru is knew it all too well.

"Oh yes… I see now… your mother was scared by an ant-eating elephant, and you suffer from a fear of carpets and upholstery because of it."

"Erk," the spectators said.

Mami slowly, gracefully, reached up and with all the prickly feeling left in her tried to pinch a hole in his cheek. Wataru, however, backed upand showed his fu-cha block to any and all advances by her wrathful hand.

"An ant-eating mouse, maybe?"

"Don't you know the meaning of propriety?"

"Propriety… No, do you?"

Her face went a little red, but not in a cutesy way.

"Oh I see… You've been watching What's Up Doc and thought I was going to quote the dictionary, but little did you know propriety is the last way to a young girl's heart, and this is the quickest," he said, pointing to his neck.

Mami just stood there, clenching her fist, growling though her gritted teeth, but Haruka wanted to know exactly, precisely, and would even settle for approximately what he meant.

"The neck?" she said, failing as always to hide her German accent.

"Oh yes, want to see?"

"Uh… Um… Sure…"

"Okay, now you might feel some pressure," he said, walking over to her and putting his hands on her shoulders. They were close, but not too close, yet she had been in this position before.

"You're not going to… kiss…?"

"Of course not," he reassured her, ducking down and evaluating her neck in a very professional manner.

She gave a sigh of relief, though down deep she almost felt a little disheartened.

"It's more of a nibble," he finished, zooming in and gnawing ever so gently on her delicate skin.

Between the two seconds it took her to realize that he was nibbling on her neck and then to fully _comprehend_ that HE WAS NIBBLING ON HER NECK, about every cell on the right side of her face all the way down to his hand on her shoulder started buzzing with electricity. For the third and fourth seconds she lost her sense of better judgment and just enjoyed it, with a little 'ooo' slipping out her mouth. But then she heard Yotty going 'ooo' and Mami going 'aaa' and something clicked.

"You're very nice, but… bye!" she quickly said, pulling back and peeling out, stifling a giggle. His teeth kept moving, gently gnawing the air as she leapt behind a colum.

That's twice in twenty minutes… This was bad.

"Post traumatic stress, Bud…" Mami said, sitting down. "I might hate you right now, but I gotta know… Where did you learn to do that?"

He stood upright and worked out a crick in his neck.

"Long story…"

"I won't run away Brother Dearest," Yotsuba said walking up to him.

He bent over just a tad like he was going to start and then, unexpectedly, blew in her ear.

Being English, instead of Japanese, she stifled her own giggle and pranced off in the same direction as Haruka.

"Promises, promises," he whispered.

"What?"

"Oh that burns my cannolie!" he growled.

"That's what you get for moving in on your sisters."

"Quiet you."

"You be quiet, I'm trying to think."

"Here," he said holding out a hand, as a means of pulling her back up.

"Huh?"

"I'll walk you to the nurse's office or something, but we had better get out of here. People are beginning to stare.

And it was so. And not just people, more like everybody and their dog.

Realizing the compromising situation she was in she took his hand, got up, and they walked back inside.

"You'll be alright," she said, regaining her composure ever so slightly as they walked it off.

He gave her a sly look and they walked inside.

"Brother Mine!" Marie shouted as they passed her on their way up some stairs.

"Oui, oui?" he asked.

"You know French?" she asked, her train of thought a little derailed.

"I know a lot of French, here, let me show you," he said taking a step toward her.

"Eeep!" she said, covering her mouth and backing away.

"Marie… you wound me!"

"Sorry, but…" she removed her hands and they saw some faint color in her cheeks.

"Blushing, and I didn't even get to do anything… tisk, tisk."

"Marie, you needed something?" Mami asked when the faint color became a not so faint color.

"uh… oh, yes! Mamoru's hiding out in the bathroom, Shirayuki's wandering around in a daze, I just saw Haruka jump into some bushes through a window and Yotsuba just came running past laughing like a madwoman. What's going on around here?"

"Need you even ask?" Mami said, pointing her nose at Bud.

"What do you have to say about this?" Marie asked him, a little aggravated.

"Me? Well… what else? I'm throwing a party in my mouth and you're invited. What d'you say?"

"Brother Mine! This isn't the place or the time…" Marie started.

"For what?" Sakuya asked, coming down the stairs.

"Nothing," she uttered, looking down.

"Marie…"

"It's just that…"

"I said I was throwing a party, but Marie isn't one for partying on stairs. Nothing to take too seriously now, right, Sa-ku-ya?"

"Say my name like that again… I dare you."

"While you're standing above me on a flight of stairs? Sakuya you insult my fear of being shoved down a flight of stairs when I least expect it!"

"You think that I-?"

"I think that you think that murder mysteries are sexy. Five minutes ago I would have said perish the thought, but now that you confess-"

"What? I-"

"Sakuya, I never knew… and quite frankly I didn't want to know, thanks for sharing by the way, but as long as were on the subject-"

"Were not-"

"-get everything you want out murder mysteries, I don't care… freak… but if you're thinking about making me the murder-ee then I'll ask you not to involve me in your sick fantasies-"

"Are you still talking?" she growled giving him a playful shove towards the wall.

"Woah!" he said, pretending that he was going to topple downwards.

"Yeah right, Bud."

"A! It could happen," he said, standing back up. "Think, if I had actually been falling then I would have gone to my doom and you could have stopped it. Don't you feel bad…" he scathingly inquired.

"Yeah but you weren't, and even if you had been afterwards you would have been all, 'Mami you save my life, oh thank you, I'll love you for ever!' or something like that."

"Oh please I'm not that pathetic. It would have been more like, 'Mami you saved my live? You? Mami? Are you feeling well today? Were you planning on murdering me in my sleep anyway? Oh no, Mami, why on earth would you'-?"

"WE GET THE POINT," Mami said, sounding angry but smiling.

"You are so mean…" Sakuya said.

"And you are so obvious… Please try and be a little less forward around Marie, can't you see it disturbs her?"

"What?" Marie asked.

"See? SEE!"

"You think I'm stupid!" Sakuya shouted.

"You think I'm sickly," Marie whispered.

"You two are thinking too much," Mami said shaking her head.

"A remarkably valid answer from a remarkably, beep, comment deleted, girl."

"Huh? What did you say?"

"I said," his head twitched to the side, "I said," his head twitched to the side again, "I said, I said, I said."

"There's nothing wrong, is there young man?"

His face stopped twitching and he turned to receive another faceful of old man.

"Aaa!" he shouted, backing up and almost falling down. I say almost because instead he backed into Sakuya, who was sort of in his way. "Sorry," he said, looking up past her… um… I don't know how to put this, but I think Sakuya put it best.

"Eeeeee!"

He jumped back up and straightened his necktie.

"These things do happen."

"If they happen again," she growled, grabbing his collar and pulling his face and inch away from hers, "then things… things… Your breath smells… bad…"

"Yours is…"

Somewhere nearby a bell sounded.

"As interesting as this all is, might I suggest we get off the stairs before the stampede?" the teacher humble suggested.

The lot nodded as they all went their separate ways in an awkward silence. However before Sakuya went up the stairs to her class Wataru whispered, "Sakuya."

"What?"

"Really good…" and he hurried off.

She blushed as she started up the stairs. Bad breath or not, another ten seconds and…!


	9. This is Mob's County

Sister Pri 09

"Tis but the fate of this fair mortal,

To waste on yonder feelings cordial,

And sit, unnoticed and unloved, through another boring class."

"Thank you… Mr. … Minakami…" the teacher replied, sounding almost as unflattering as Wataru had sounded forlorn. "And I'll thank you for sparing us another poetic out burst in the middle of class, FOR THE LOVE OF GLORY!"

"Truth is truth, Daddy-O," he coolly mumbled.

The teacher raised his finger, just as the bell rang.

"We'll continue this discussion later, class dismissed," the teacher said, quickly leaving to morph into another of his many guises.

As he did the whole class was abuzz about his new attitude. The Minakami family mostly kept to itself. There was definitely enough of them to do that. Kaho had a couple of acquaintances in cheerleading, and Aria was just _such_ an all around people person, but the older ones weren't to concerned with popularity.

For instance Naruway Nanasei from class three wouldn't shut up about seeing him Chikage bump into him on their way out the A corridor doors, and lower classman Himuari Kenshin overheard Usagi Tuskinino (something, something) telling Rei Hino that he had been gnawing on some girl's neck during lunch, and there was a rumor it was his sister.

"Really?"

"I don't know, but somebody should find out."

"I know."

"Really."

And so it should have been no surprise when he stood up at the end of class the first person to approach him wasn't a sister, but a girl. And yet it was.

"Um… hello?" he asked.

She had been looking over with a fine toothcomb, but realizing she had been spotted, though she was an impressive three feet away, she started a dialogue.

"Hi, my name is Nanapon and I was just wondering if all the things they were saying were true?"

"About me being a good kisser?"

"Actually about you kissing your sister."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Do kisses on the neck count?"

"I think so-"

"Oh, then kisses on the hand must count as well, right?"

"I… I guess, I mean I-"

"Then of course I kiss my sisters, what loving brother doesn't?"

"Yeah but-"

"Do you have a brother?"

"No, b-"

"Then you'll never understand, now if you'll excuse me."

"Wait, I wasn't-"

"Wasn't through making accusations, yes, I know."

"No, you have me all wrong, I-"

"Would like to have a romantic candlelight dinner with me; I know."

"What?" she lamented, sounding almost indignity now. "You are… you are…"

"I'm listening…" he said, being quiet now that she was on the defensive.

"I… you…"

"I'm full of myself?"

"BINGO!"

"Welcome to my world, baby. Now since you've already refused my incredibly charitable romantic candlelight dinner, might I bother asking you to step aside?"

Her mouth was moving up and down, but nothing was coming out. Probably because for the past 'dialogue' whenever anything did come out it came out all wrong. Slowly she nodded and he filed past as the entire class looked on in wonder, family members included. "Wait!" she said, before he walked out.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry… I just heard some people talking and… I just want to say I'm sorry is all."

"Don't say you're sorry. Say you'll go out with me."

"What? I-"

"Now, now, you did just accuse me of an act most lewd, don't you think the least you could do to… make sure this never happens again is to spare an evening of your life, just to get to know the accused?"

"I guess-"

"Then you'll come? How is tonight?"

"I… I…" her cheeks were blushing, but her lips were smiling just a bit, and her eyes looked excited. "T-tonight? I'll do it!"

"Y-You will? Okay, but just for the record let's not call this a pity date. The last time I went on one of those the only person I ended up feeling sorry for was myself."

"Really?"

"Maybe… Tonight then, I'll see you-"

"Wait! That's not possible!" Mami said rushing to his side and grabbing one arm.

"That's right, he already has dinner arrangements tonight," Karen said appearing from just behind him and grabbing his other.

"But… he was the one who…"

"Don't worry about him, he's just not feeling well today."

"Are you, Bud?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, besides if I were- Oh my golly."

Mecha Rin Rin had just appeared at the door. It, er… she was wearing her dress Kimono, and was just standing at the door staring at him.

"What's that?" Nanapon asked.

"Does anybody know where Rin Rin is, perchance?"

"Not I!" Yamada said, sneaking out the back door.

"Hmmm… that's a good idea…"

He cautiously released himself from the girls' grip, bowed to the relative stranger, and snuck over to the other door. Her opened it a crack. Mysteriously Mecha Rin Rin was right there looking back at him. In fact it even appeared to be blushing. Or overheating so intensely the metal was glowing. Very flattering, even if it was impossibly dangerous. He snuck back over to the other door and peered out. There it was again, hopping up and down like it was laughing. It raised a hand and lowered it in a girlish 'oh you!' pose, that accidentally put a hole in the wall.

"Mami would you mind-?" he asked Mami, pointing to the other door.

However she was already there, though not to help him.

"You're on your own, Bud!" she said, sneaking out.

"No soup for you!" he shouted.

"What?" she asked, leaping back in.

"You heard me."

"No soup?"

"Big Brother, what does it want?"

"I think it either wants to kill me for defying it earlier, or, going off that kimono, it thinks I'm attracted to it because I blew in it's ear earlier… though who ever heard of a computer falling in love with a human?"

"It is magic when you blow in people ears."

"You think so?"

"Oh brother," Mami said, shaking her head from the door.

"No, really! I'd even call it irresistible."

"Me?" Wataru asked.

Karen blushed.

"You know Karen have I ever told you how good you look in your school uniform?" She shook her head. "Well… you do… so does every other girl, but I thought I might tell you personally."

Karen's cheeks got redder and the class didn't know what to think. He thinks his sister looks good in her uniform? But he said so does every other girl, so that was cool. But why would he bother telling her now? And what was all that about blowing in people's ear?

"Karen?"

"Yes?"

"Avon calling."

"huh?"

"Your lipstick, it's clashing, let me help you get some of that off."

Okay that totally wasn't cool!

As he strode over to her, grabbed her shoulders and gazed into her eye as their lips got ever closer the class room gasped, and Mami leapt forward to stop this, if not for a little feeling in her own heart that to stop it before their collective reputation was ruined. However Mecha Rin Rin, seeing her Sweetums seconds away from kissing another girl, spared her the trouble.

CRASH!

"It's coming inside!" someone shouted.

"Run for your lives!"

"No, wait! It wants Wataru! We should do what any Random Character's with nothing to lose, except their guest spots, should do! We should make him a sacrifice to the monster!"

"You heard Random Character #7 somebody grab his legs!"

"Hey I brought my pagan hatchet for show and tell today!"

"What luck!"

"Wow," Wataru said, seeing Mami on his right hand, the nut and bolts (more like nuts and more nuts) love machine on his left and a pagan lynch mob all around. "That escalated pretty fast, didn't it?"

"It did," Karen said, backing up with him towards the wall of windows.

"Wataru Minakami, there's nowhere to run," Random Character # 7 said, "there's nowhere to hide."

Thinking fast he threw the window open and flung Karen out. She landed on the grass, her backside a little sore, but all things considered…

"D'oh!" he shouted.

"I always wanted to do that," Wataru said, "and today you have given me the chance,." Tears inevitably welled up in his eyes. The random display of emotion was disheartening, and many of the nearest students hesitated. "Thank you pagan lynch mob. Oh, and C-ya SUCKERS!"

He laughed as he dived out the window and next to Karen on the green, green grass. Well he could visualize it happening, but Random Character # 4 grabbed his arm."

"erk!" he lamented as they started to close in.

"Hi-ya!" a girl shouted, chopping the boy's arm.

"Ow! Hey I thought you were on our side!"

"Mami!" Wataru whispered.

Mami grabbed the oncoming mass and held them off. "Bud… I mean Wataru… Run, Wataru!"

"Why Mami?" he asked before he could bring himself to fling himself out the window.

"Because I love-"

"She's one of them, bind her mouth!"

"Grab her legs!"

"You already said that!"

"Yeah, good job grabbing his hand by the way."

"Shut up," Random Character # 9 said, waiving the words in an annoyed tone rather than sounding particularly angry, like the raspy and offense growl #7 produced did, before pouncing on sleaze ball. I mean 'our hero!'

"Wataru, No!" Mami shouted, tearing loose herself and pushing him out the window before any harm could come to him.

It was kind of counterproductive really, because the first words out of his mouth after she made contact were, "Falling! FALLING!" as he hurdled down to his uncertain fate. And only five seconds ago he had every intention of saying something to the tune of 'I never forget you' or 'I love you too' or, if he was really pressed for time, just an all meaningful 'bye.' But things as they were he dropped first on to a ledge, then into the arms of tall, dark and giddy. Haruka quickly dropped him, but he got back up.

"Haruka, you… save my life…"

"I did?" she asked, turning red

"You did…" he said, grabbing her hands and holding them between them.

"I'm so happy I could finally protect my Beloved brother," closing her eyes as she blushed.

"Haruka…" he said, closing his own eyes, as his lips-

"Whatever happened to Mami?" Karen asked.

His eyes popped back open.

"Well that could have gone better," one of them said to another from the open window, not even bothering to hush their voices.

"What if the fall didn't kill him?"

"Then it could have gone a lot better."

"What are we going to do with Red here?"

"Let's sacrifice here to our Mechanical idol of Kimonos and Mayhem."

"No, it's gone, her blood would be wasted. If were going to make a sacrifice the Monster must be present."

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"That explains it."

"Hey what's going on in here?" a new voice asked.

"Yeah and what happened to the door?"

"Wataru Minakami, that's what happened!"

"Yeah his computer friend broke the door down, so, naturally, we decided to sacrifice him to the Metalic Mass to appease it-"

"But he jump out the window."

"And now we have his accomplice."

"And we can't just let her walk away."

"She's his sister isn't she?"

"Don't ask me!"

"You're his sister aren't you?"

"Yeah," Mami said, a little scared sounding.

"Did you see him making out with his sister at lunch?"

"We weren't making out!" Haruka called up.

Heads started poking out windows. More heads than had previously been in the classroom, there must be quite a crowd in there now.

"Wataru Minakami, still alive I see."

"Surprised? Disappointed?"

"Why don't you come up here for a moment and see?"

"Don't do it Bud!" Mami shouted.

"Why don't _you_ come down _here_, for a moment?"

"Wise guy…"

"No less."

"Perhaps you forget that we have your precious sister!"

"What are you going to do to her?"

"I… What are we going to do with her?"

"I have a hatchet!" one called down.

"I have a boner!" Wataru called up.

The number of heads poking out the window quickly doubled, and to add to it, the strange stares Karen and Haruka were giving him on there own would have been unflattering enough. Currently they were focusing every ounce of restraint on not looking down.

"Okay, no I don't, but one dirty thought is all it takes!"

"Enough talk! Your blood will mean nothing, NOTHING; without the Mechanical Menace present. So lets make a deal, Mr. Minakami. The dock at sunset! We'll bring your sister, you bring the Computer."

"What if the Perfunctory Pandemic doesn't like a deader me?"

"Perfunctory Pandemic… That's good…"

"Hey."

"Somebody write that down!"

"Hey!"

"Oh, it will, we'll see to that…"

"And if it doesn't show?"

"We'll just have to improvise. As for it, be sure to bring your umbrella, because you will get wet!"

"What to you mean?"

"It's going to rain."

"Oh… Mami, is that alright with you?"

"Yeah, just bring my umbrella too!"

"What the- No conversing with the prisoner you!"

"Hey this is fun! Can an underclassman from class two come along?"

"Do you have enough Tiki masks and grass skirts to go round?"

"Do I ever!"

"Okay, you're in. In fact lets get the whole school involved."

"Horay!" they shouted.

They pulled their heads back in the window.

"This is fun, we should do it more often."

"Yeah, I was looking for an excuse to make a human sacrifice anyway."

"Aren't we all…"

"Let's get going," Wataru said, shaking his head a bit as he strode down the University block.

"You're not going, are you Big Brother?"

"I have to, they have Mami."

"But Beloved Brother, what if they-"

"I don't know, we're just going to have to play this one by ear."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to go home. Brush my teeth. Dust off my Leather Jacket. Brandish my bullwhip. Steal Yotsuba's Aussi hat. And head off into the sunset just in time to save the day."

"You're so brave Big Brother."

"You know it."

"Should I come too?"

"I don't think that's a good idea, Karin. You know I'm going to be confronting a blood thirsty mob, and there really isn't enough blood to go round, so when they hear you're my sister-"

"Wataru!" a girl shouted, running to catch up to them, just as they came to the elevator.

"Who is that, Beloved Brother?"

"I'm not sure."

"I'm so glad I caught you!" she said, a little out of breath. "I just wanted to-"

"Ask me if I was kissing my sister during lunch, yes, the answer is no."

"What!"

"Huh?" She didn't know? There was no reason in perpetuating the rumor. "Nothing."

"No, I wanted to tell you that the cheer leader team is practicing for the luau tonight, so Kaho says, don't wait up."

"I don't think it's a luau."

"Whatever. Oh, and by the way, I saw you at lunch and you were kissing your sister, but don't worry, I won't tell anyone." She winked.

"Huh?" the three asked.

"Bye," she said waving, as she ran back to the building.

"That was weird."

"Oh, no. What vill everybody say about us after what happened at lunch-"

"We have more important things to worry about Haruka, like what are we going to do about China when they eventually invade Taiwan, and which major news network can we really trust."

"Ummm… zat's true, but-"

"Besides, we still have each other, and we can worry about our reputation after we save Mami."

"Yes… I'm coming with you Beloved Brother."

"I was hoping you would Haruka."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"I want you to go buy a Tiki mask and a grass skirt, so you can slip in the crowd and shout confusing things if I get caught. Oh, and you should buy a coconut bra too because I'm just dying to see you in one."

"Big Brother!"

"What?"


	10. Lookout Pagans here he comes! FINALE!

Sister Pri Finale

Rin Rin's Concoction!

Welcome back faithful readers. I bet you didn't see that coming. I mean the whole pagan lynch mob thing, not Wataru wanting to see Karen in a coconut bra, who wouldn't? raises and lowers eyebrows In any case I didn't either. This is what happens when you don't plot people! (Ain't it great? )

We rejoin our crazy crew moments before dusk. Most of the girls didn't come home that evening. They feared for their safety. Karen left early, looking actually pretty cute in her grass skirt and sporty swimsuit when she wasn't wearing the mask. As for the coconut bra, you wish, ya horndog. Haruka left moments ago to blend in with the crowd herself. She was going as a Japanese traditionalist. I believe the phrase is "representin' y'all!" but phrase is just so primordial. Even though he wanted to say good-bye to them all before parting, the fact that he couldn't say his goodbyes was bearable. But not finding Mecha Rin Rin wasn't. If she didn't show then it would be back to square one. Honestly where could a hulking mass that large hide anyway? Not in a closet, that was fore sure, it was a wonder it could get through doors in the first place, he'd have to ask Rin Rin about that when he next saw her, may the good lord curse her black soul.

When finally the time had come for him to go Sakuya burst through the doors.

"Dear Brother!" she cried, running to his arms at the base of the stairs.

"Sakuya! What happened?"

"It's horrible, dear brother. They have Mami and they… Did you brush your teeth?"

"I hoped you'd noticed."

"Yeah…"

"They sent you here didn't they?"

"Ummm… No, no! It's terrible, they-"

"Are you smiling?"

"They… they're doing… No!"

"You are! You are smiling!"

"I plead the fifth?"

"It turned into a luau didn't it? They just didn't want to tell me so that I could go make a fool out of myself, didn't they?"

"Where did you get that hat?"

"I stole it from Yotsuba- Don't change the subject!"

"I think I like you when you're aggressive," she said, rubbing her hand up and down his arm.

"Okay, change the subject…"

"I don't know what they're up to but seeing you like this, and the house is all to ourselves…"

"What are you thinking, Sakuya?"

"Just that this is the perfect opportunity for us to get better acquainted."

"Are you having dirty thoughts?"

"No!"

"I think you are!"

"Okay, I am," she said, her eyes narrowing as her face came closer. "Now what?"

"Now we start the healing process. What was your childhood like, Saku- ack"

"Wrong answer," she growled, grabbing his collar and pulling him an inch away from her face, closer than maybe they had ever been. Closer even than lunch, though this time he had brushed his teeth in the recent past.

"You like?" he guessed, from her changes response to the smell.

"Who's it gonna be Dear Brother?"

"What do you mean?"

"Rin Rin said the first person you kissed you would fall in love with."

"What?"

"Who's it gonna be?"

"This is… I can't just… I mean… It can't be true!"

"It is…"

"When were you all going to tell me about this?" he demanded,

"Dear Brother," she said, closing her eyes and moving in.

"Sakuya, no! You know I'll always care for you but…"

"But?" she asked, her eyes opening just a bit.

"But if this means… if…" He couldn't think of anything. CURSES! Why did his mind always freeze up when it was important!

"Just kiss…" she whispered, her eyes shut. "Just one little…"

He took a deep breath. He didn't want parts of this, she was his sister, but he did want parts of this, she was young and good looking, and had liked him before he had become super cool, or something. And with her standing right in his arms, asking for one little kiss…

When his lips made contact it was like magic.

"YAAAAAA!" he shouted.

Sakuya lay unconscious on the floor. His lips had met with Mecha Rin Rin's overheating cheek. Now the gigantic sadist was dancing around like it was on cloud nine, whilst Wataru danced around like his lips were on fire.

Lucky for him they weren't.

"YEOW! OW! And maybe even OUCH! Curse you and your demon creator!"

But she (it) wasn't listening. A few seconds later his lips felt better. (Maybe 'better' is too charitable a word; and 'normal' would be a down right lie, but he didn't feel like screaming so loud anymore, so lets just leave it at that.)

"All right you," he growled, pointing to the machine. "I don't like you, and you… like me a little to much good for my own good. But we both have a mutual disliking of pagan mobs that are out to kill me."

The creature stopped dancing and nodded at that last statement.

"So here's what were going to do. You're going to go in and act like everything's okey-dokey. Then I'm going to go in and make an all around fool of myself. Then, when they're like putty in our hands, we grab Mami and run like the Dickens. Wadd'ya say?"

She inclined her head towards Sakuya.

"Sorry, I don't have enough time to start handing out massages."

The computer's eyes opened again, and it put a hand to one ear.

"I mean; a… let's let her sleep."

It nodded.

"Now you go ahead, and if worst comes to worst grab Mami and run. Now go."

It shrugged and made for the dock.

He gave Sakuya a goodbye look, turned up the collar of his leather jacket, and said, "If they want a fool they got one. Look out pagan lynch mob, here comes Wataru Minakami!" And saying so he marched out into the coming night, slamming the doors behind him.

Meanwhile the 'Pagans' were throwing one heck of a party on the dock itself. The dry ground was almost full to capacity, there were so many people, though it would have been worse had a good bunch of them not piled on the boat.

"Okay, tribal leaders and producers on the boat only!" one was heard to cry. When that didn't work he continued with, "Come on people, you've all seen survivor!"

"Hey, I get producer credits since I 'produced' the grass skirts and Tiki masks!"

"Okay, you're fine, what about you?"

"I brought the salad bar!"

"Fine, Shirayuki can stay too, how about-"

"Hey there's a salad bar?"

"Yeah, it's over by the ramp didn't you see it?"

"No, it must have come after I got on the boat."

"Well what are we doing on the boat anyway? Onward ye Heathens!"

Suddenly the ship wasn't half so full as it was a second ago."

"Good work Random Character #9."

"Just doin' my job, #7."

"It's almost dusk, where do you think he is right now?"

"Jet setting probably… Stinking rich boys."

"You know it."

"Hark!" one cried.

The crowd was suddenly silent. They could hear something coming their way.

"I think it's…"

Slowly Mecha Rin Rin emerged form the shadows and started down the Ramp.

The gathered erupted into cheers.

"All hail! All hail!" they shouted as it stopped at the bottom and started looking around.

"Go, Robot! Go, Robot!" the cheerleaders screamed from the crane station high above.

"Oh, that's the robot?" Kaho said. "It's called Mecha Rin Rin."

"Really?" another cheerleader asked.

"Yeah."

"Then we should make up a new cheer for it… how about: 'She can do it, yes she can! Mecha Rin the tin woman!' ?"

"It's not much," the main cheerer sighed, "but lets do it anyway."

Amidst the sounds of cheering, organized or not, a shadow crept into the crowd.

Slowly Random Character #8 climbed the lighthouse. "Order! Order I say! That's it! Who wants to join our prisoner in the execution hut?"

They shut up.

"Thank you. Now we will bring this first meeting of the pagans for human sacrifice to order! Who has an issue?"

"I have an issue!"

"The chair, er… lighthouse, lends the floor to the pagan in a rather skimpy floral bikini."

"Yes, I was just wondering why we didn't have any more conservative swimwear off hand for those of us caught unprepared by this luau."

"First of all, it is not a luau! As for your bathing suite blasphemy, the village elders appointed a gentleman to obtain the clothes for those that absolutely refused to bring their own, don't blame him if nothing conservative was left."

"Yeah, well where is the gentleman, I want to give him a big present!"

"That would be me!" Yamada shouted, jumping up on top of the salad bar.

Unfortunate for him the 'pagan' in the rather skimpy floral bikini was Mamoru, and upon seeing his eager face went into something of a mad rage.

"Oh dear…" he said, as she plowed toward him, past hula dancer and Tiki mask alike in her quest for vengeance. "Ta!" he shouted, jumping off the bar and trying to make his way up the ramp.

"Wait Yamada-SAN! Don't you want your present?" she shouted, giving ever more aggressive chase.

"All right, any other business from the body of the paganhood? You there, in the Tiki mask."

"Why do bad things have to happen?"

"Are you brining up a matter of business or asking philosophical questions?"

"Both? If there are so many bad things happening in the world why do we have to make things worse by sacrificing Big… er… Big Jerk to an idol?"

"Let me tell you a story, little one. A story of love, hate, regret and murder. The moral of this story is: human sacrifice is always the answer. I'm glad we had this discussion."

"But-!"

"Anything else?"

"Hey!"

"Look case closed! Unless you want to veto our right to sacrifice him until a proper investigation takes place under the litigation of a pagan tribunal."

"I do!"

"Well get in line! I swear, you're almost as bad as Nanapon and her 'give me twenty minutes alone with him before hand and I'll let you copy my homework for a month' nonsense."

"I'll make it ten minutes!" she shouted.

"Ten? I can do it in eight!"

"I'll settle for seven!"

"Absolutely not! We'd be here all night! Ah, I believe the old gentleman in the back has something to say."

"I do," the fisherman said, standing at least a foot above the crowd. "Now listen up young whippersnappers. You can do what you want but I'm going to start throwing people in the water if you don't keep you hands to yourselves. And the next time I hear somebody shout orgy I'm going to go get my chainsaw."

"Did everybody here that? No Orgies!"

"Awww…" they went.

"I'm glad we got that settled," #8 commented. "Now, if that's all-"

"I have a comment."

"Uh… Fine, go on then, but make it quick."

Chikage raised her voice so everybody could hear. "I represent the 'Kill Wataru and I'll kill you' agency, and we find it very distressing that-"

"She's one of them!" somebody shouted.

"Grab her legs!"

For once it looked like somebody was going to carry out that order, as every boy ten feet was suddenly looking at Chikage with ravenous eyes.

"Chikage NO!" Haruka shouted, getting between them and her. "Take one more step and you won't be needing a cup anymore."

The first row looked a little perturbed.

"Do you mean cup as in drinking cup or cup as in protection?" one of the second rowers asked.

"Drinking cup, because I'll… you know, poke a hole in your stomach."

They sighed.

"What do you mean, cup as in protection, how could you use a cup for protection?" she asked.

The first row, with its ravenous eyes, suddenly found the sky to be much more interesting as they slowly snuck away from the awkward conversation. However a third year form the fourth row who had had a crush on Chikage for a long time and saw this as his chance, darted forward.

"Stop or else!" Haruka growled, as Chikage got behind her.

"That wont be necessary!" came a shout from the sky.

The Pagans looked up to see Indiana Jones standing on the edge of the concrete wall. But Indiana Jones in Japan? No, it must be someone else that could only mean:

"It's Wataru!" the girls collectively cooed, most of whom having acquired secret crushes on him since lunch.

Every boy there suddenly hated him.

"Wataru Minakami!" #7 called from the boat.

"Yes ma'am?"

"Y- What did you call me?"

"Ma'am, traditional American title referring to both superiority and female aspects of a personagen.

"Who's quoting the dictionary now!" the shadowy figure cried out.

"Rin Rin is that you?"

The shadowy figure shut up and skulked away.

"I thought so. Where's Mami?"

"Here she is, as agreed!" he said, pulling her out of the room on the boat and beginning to untie her restraints.

"Mami have you been treated well?"

"Well… the pork roast was a little cold, but otherwise-"

"Don't listen to her! You have nothing to fear, Minakami! You have nothing to be scared of… Wait, are you scared of dying in a pagan ritual?'

"Um… not really but sort of…"

"Silly me… Now how do you want to go about this?"

"Let the girls go and I'll make yours a quick death."

"OURS!"

"Yeah, haven't you seen Indian Jones before?"

"A leather jacket and bullwhip does not an archeologist make, Minakami! Besides that's a Hollywood movie. Everyone knows Harrison Ford couldn't take on fifty men by himself. Forty-nine, maybe, remember it is Harrison Ford were talking about here, but-"

"What if I took a… Crash Course in Archeology!" he shouted, holding up a printed diploma from the online academy of archeology and A$$-kicking.

"Holy Cow!" somebody shouted. "He is an archeologist!"

"We'll all be killed!"

"Nonsense, you numbskulls! Have you forgotten that this is Wataru Minakami we're talking about?"

"He's got a point, you know."

"Who Ha!" Wataru shouted. "Enough talk! It's time somebody put you random characters in your place!"

"Yeah!" the characters with names shouted.

"Then come down here and do it, baby!"

"What?"

"I mean… um…" he stalled, recalling that you don't say baby to another boy. "Dang it," he shouted when he couldn't' think up a reasonable excuse, "CEASE HIM!"

Wataru jumped down the retaining wall and landed on Mecha Rin Rin.

"Forward ho!" he shouted cracking his whip.

The hommin-mechanic lurched forward.

"The Creature! It does what he says!"

"Run for your lives!"

"Wait no! The sacrifice!"

"Sacrifice, Smackrifice, it's every Pagan for himself."

"Or herself, Dummy!"

"Yeah, whatever happened to women and children first?"

"Welcome to the twentyfirst century! Please burn your bra before nineteen seventy."

"That's derogatory!"

"You would say that, you crazy skirt!"

"That's sexist!"

"Back to the burning the bra thing… pretty please?"

"That's pathetic! In fact, you're pathetic!"

"Wait! I have an idea!"

"What?"

"Grab its legs!"

"The next time you shout 'grab its legs' you're going for a swim!"

"Gosh! I'm Sorry!"

"Don't use your Napoleon Dynamite impression on me."

"Look!"

"By Golly, they're grabbing its legs!"

"And it's working!"

By Golly was right. The fools were throwing themselves at it's feet, latching on to the legs and Mecha Rin Rin, who was top heavy, in addition to being heavy enough in general, and quickly found she couldn't move.

"Ya," Wataru shouted, cracking his whip, "Ya Mule! Ya-ya!" When that didn't work he jumped off and took a wrestling stance.

"Beloved brother!" Haruka shouted.

"Were coming!" Chikage echoed.

"Now you're going!" somebody shouted, as a bunch of boys pushed them in the water.

Wataru ran over to where they were, the people waiting to see what he was going to do in response, and actually a little afraid since he was so tall and had a bullwhip in hand.

"That wasn't very nice you know…" he said, grabbing the person and throwing them in after him.

"Hey!" somebody shouted.

"You go too!" And he threw the protestor in as well.

Then the circle that had formed around him started to close it.

"Mr. Minakami," one girl said, "you look thirsty…"

"Oh, I bet I do, but anybody who wants to give me a big drink it going to have to do it without getting it on my leather jacket."

Her eyes got a little bigger. So did all the other eyes.

"That's right! If this _leather jacket_ doesn't make me Indiana Jones maybe the next one will. And whoever pushes me in is going to be buying that next one."

Then, in that horrible middle ground they just stood there for a second, one person dived at him, but Wataru started wringing his hands, greedily, and the boy backed off. He didn't have that kind of Yen.

"Fine. We're not going to push you, just come with us."

"How stupid do you think I am?"

"Pretty stupid."

"I wouldn't say he's stupid," one girl objected.

"Yeah, he's just a bad tester, probably."

"And he's bad at waking up I hear."

"You stay out of this, Yotsuba."

"Fine, but I'm not going to defend you when they find out you're a good for nothing 'loser' male cliché, whom all the female character's gravitate around in a harem anime so that the male audience actually thinks it could have chance with bunch of tens, like us."

"Hmmm…" he said thinking. "That may be true but at least I'm hung like a Spanish stallion."

"Huh?" Yotty asked.

"Prove it!" Nanapon, shouted from somewhere in the crowd.

His pupils shrank. "Uhhh…"

Suddenly 'Oh Yeah," by Yello, started coming out of the immobilized Mecha Rin Rin's speakers. Those of you whom have seen Ferris Beulier's Day Off may recognize it as the ending theme.

Suddenly he pupils were the only things shrinking. Namely his bravery and his ambition to prove himself were quite shaken. He suddenly thought of an age-old question. Who to kill first, the monster AKA Mecha Rin Rin or the creator, Rin Rin herself? Right then he would have taken what he could have gotten. Lucky for the both of them that wasn't an option.

"Okay…" he said, his voice a little high, "here we go, Ladies!"

Had the concoction not been at it's full effect he never would have dreamed he do it, but things as they were on a down beat he unzipped his coat, amidst the shrieks of the girls, and angry, uncomfortable grunts of the guys. He started moonwalking around, back and forth from where he was, before throwing the coat aside and flinging the hat into the audience.

"The leather's gone!" one boy shouted, just before he undid his second button.

"Here you go!" another three added, pushing him into the water.

The ladies sighed, other than Chikage and Haruka who swam to his side, the men and boys started laughing, though nervously, and he, himself, started growling unperceivable profanities.

"Gragin, fragin, mackin, shu-maker, kisim…"

"Disaster averted men," one of them said, seconds before a wall of girls pushed them in as a thank you very much. The woman folk laughed heartily, if forcible at that.

"Who needs rain when you're meeting near water?" one of them said. Then it started. Just a trickle, then a dribble, then healthy downpour.

"You just had to open you big mouth," somebody sighed.

Tired of the nonsense Wataru climbed back onto the dock, worked out a crick in his neck, then slowly made to the lighthouse, and turning out onto the wooden dock, made for the boat.

When he got there, Hinako met him from her prize seat on the roof.

"Bro Bro you're so funny."

"Thank you Hinako."

"Mr. Minakami, I haven't looked you eye to eye since seventh period."

"Always looking down on people. That's you to a tee."

"Silence."

"You be silence, I want to be Rambo! Now where is my sister #7?"

"Right there," he said, pointing to a red head on the bow.

"Oh," he said seeing her. "You look different with your hair down… and wet."

"Yeah…" she said. "Thanks for coming to rescue me."

"What are Big Brother's for?"

"Bro Bro, she's not a sister."

"You didn't know that Bud?"

"Y- You- Not a sister?"

"Nope."

"Well, I guess the jokes on me… even though…"

"What?"

"Tell me something first. Does your hair always smell like wild berries?"

"It did today."

"And it did yesterday when you grabbed my arm to get at Sakuya. I'm guessing you did want to dance with me this morning you just didn't want to show it."

"Maybe…" she said, blushing, thought it was hard to see in the dim light, namely a torch under the boat's canopy. "But what were you going to say?"

"Mami I would have come for you even if I had known you weren't my sister."

"Oh Bud!" she cried leaping into his arms (making everybody else on the boat play the balancing game).

"Enough of this!" #7 shouted, regaining his balance, "Lets get this sacrifice underway!"

They all stood there.

"Well?"

"Hey, I'm not touching him," one boy said, still a little put out by that whole dance routine thing. If the music started up again he jump into the water of his own volition just to save himself the akwardness of the whole situation.

"He's come all this way, do we have to kill him?" one girl asked.

"Okay, I'll make the all time low offer of two minute. Two minute alone and I'll grab him for you."

"Er… maybe we'll try this human sacrifice bit again later, but I think if we let you alone with him our 'idol' over there will be sacrificing all us to one thing or another."

They all nodded.

"Wataru, you're saved! And to think you would have give your life…"

"You're so worth it Mami, but let me tell you something. Someday, or somehow this stuff is going to wear off, and I'm going to stop knowing the right things to say, or the right things to do when you're around, but if you're willing to-"

"I am," she interrupted, waiting for it. Wait for it!

And he could see it in her eyes.

"Then let's just hope you're a good kisser," he said, planting one.

The boys who had heard the part about her not being his sister started clapping and hollering, the boys who didn't started making an assortment of 'that's not right' sounds, and the girls just sighed. Then a shadowy figure shouted, "Heads up!"

Wataru disconnected just long enough to see the blunt end of a can opener come soaring towards his sight.

CLANG!

"Like I wouldn't think up an emergency cure if he didn't pick me," she said.

"Rin Rin!" the crowd shouted.

When Wataru awoke, much, much later, he couldn't remember… anything… When the girls tried asking him about it he could only recall walking into Rin Rin's lab and being glued to the seat. After that things went back to normal, though he couldn't always remember a time Yotsuba tried to get him to eat off her plate, or Shirayuki would break out humming, 'Shall We Dance'. And that's not mentioning the time Chikage asked him how much body language he knew (he didn't know any, why was _she _asking _him_?) and that other time Aria said he had promised to play poker with her, when he didn't recollect knowing that Aria knew how to play poker, let alone knew what it was.

But the strangest was Mami, who was a lot nicer around him, and seemed to blush a bit more than usual, though she just said she had a fever.

However, in spite of these little things, eventually things really did get back to normal and they all lived happily ever after!

Until Sakuya found out about the luau.

"DEAR BROTHER!"

"What?"

"Hrmp!"

"You said, 'Hrmp!' What do you mean, 'Hrmp?'"

"You know what I'm so angry about."

"Huh?"

"And until I get a full explanation I'm not speaking to you anymore!"

"Wha? But Sakuya-"

"Still playing dumb, eh? GOOD-BYE!"

"What but… Rin Rin do you?"

"No idea Bro."

"Yotsuba?"

She giggled and ran off.

"What's going on here?"

The other girls started giggling, but couldn't bring themselves to look him in the eye.

"I-It can't be TRUE!"

THE END.


End file.
